Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more coherent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and grammatical errors. For example, say when and where you see ads, why they annoy you, and propose a clear solution.

예시: Yes — I see ads very often on both my phone and computer. For example, full‑screen pop‑ups appear when I open apps, which interrupts my work and is very annoying. Therefore, I think app developers should reduce intrusive ads or give an option to remove them.

제안: Give a clearer, specific description of the ad and explain why it impressed you using linking words. Correct grammar and avoid vague terms like "objective" here; use words like memorable, touching, or funny.

예시: Yes. When I was a child, there was a TV advert about a small foot walking around that was very memorable. It impressed me because the music and visuals were charming, and the story was simple but emotional, so I still remember it today.

제안: Organize your answer: state clearly that you often see ads on public transport, then give specific examples and use linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Mention what types of ads and why they are common.

예시: Yes, I often see many advertisements on buses and trains. For example, there are frequent posters for medicines and health products, probably because public transport reaches many people. Consequently, transport is an attractive place for health companies to advertise.

제안: Begin with a clear opinion, then explain reasons with linking words and give a short example. Fix grammar (e.g., 'if you force me to watch' → 'if I am forced to watch') and avoid filler words.

예시: Generally, I don't like advertisements because I dislike being forced to watch them. However, I enjoy creative or subtle ads that are entertaining or tell a good story; for example, a clever short film ad once made me laugh and I remembered the brand positively.

제안: Provide a structured answer: state the main criteria, then give 1–2 concrete examples or reasons using linking words. Use clearer vocabulary: 'non-intrusive', 'creative', 'thought‑provoking'. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer non‑intrusive advertisements that I can choose to watch. Also, I like ads that are creative and thought‑provoking because they entertain me and make me think; for instance, a short, imaginative commercial that tells a story will stay in my mind.

× Yes, either advertisement all the time on my computer or my phone.

✓ Yes, advertisements appear all the time on my computer or my phone.

The original sentence has incorrect structure and wrong word choice: 'either' is misused and 'advertisement' should be plural. Reordering to 'advertisements appear' creates a proper subject and verb. Suggestion: use plural for repeated items and place the verb after the subject to form a complete sentence.

× They are annoying because full screen pop up address often appear when I open apps and I can close them immediately.

✓ They are annoying because full-screen pop-up ads often appear when I open apps, and I can close them immediately.

Issues: word order and word forms are incorrect ('full screen' should be hyphenated as an adjective, 'pop up' -> 'pop-up', 'address' is incorrect for 'ads'), and the sentence needed a comma before the conjunction. Suggestion: use correct compound adjective hyphenation and accurate noun ('ads') and add punctuation for clarity.

× Which enterprise what I am doing?

✓ Which company is doing this to me?

This fragment is ungrammatical: 'Which enterprise what I am doing' mixes question words wrongly. Rephrase to a clear question with subject-verb order and correct choice of 'company' or 'service'. Suggestion: use 'Which company is doing this?' or 'What company is responsible?'.

× I think the government or apps should.

✓ I think the government or app developers should do something about it.

The original ends abruptly and lacks an action. 'Apps' is a plural noun but the speaker likely means 'app developers' or 'app providers'. Suggestion: include the verb phrase 'do something about it' to complete the sentence.

× Yes, there is advertisement making me feel deeply when I see it on TV.

✓ Yes, there was an advertisement that deeply moved me when I saw it on TV.

Tense and structure problems: question asked 'when you were a child' so past tense is required ('was' not 'is'), and the idiomatic expression is 'moved me' or 'made a deep impression on me.' Also use relative clause 'that'. Suggestion: match past tense and use natural verbs for emotional impact.

× The advertisement's name is about a foot and I think the advertisement is so attractive to me for me because it's interesting and objective.

✓ The advertisement was about foot care, and I found it very attractive because it was interesting and informative.

Problems: 'advertisement's name is about a foot' is awkward; 'about a foot' likely meant 'about foot care.' 'Attractive to me for me' is redundant. 'Objective' is misused; likely meant 'informative' or 'objective' depending on intent. Also change to past tense. Suggestion: choose accurate nouns ('foot care'), avoid repetition, and use correct adjectives like 'informative.'

× Yes, I see the advertisement all the time on the tree or on transport and their advertisement almost like most like about medicine and sometimes about keep keep body health medicine yes and.

✓ Yes, I see advertisements all the time on buses and other transport, and most of them are about medicine or health products.

Many issues: 'on the tree' is incorrect (perhaps 'in the street' or 'on the train'); the sentence is repetitive and ungrammatical ('their advertisement almost like most like'). Simplify and use plural 'advertisements' and correct locations ('on buses and other transport'). Remove filler words. Suggestion: state location clearly and group topics concisely.

× I don't like advertisement because if you, if you force me to watch the advertisement, I really hate it.

✓ I don't like advertisements because if you force me to watch them, I really hate it.

Use plural 'advertisements' when speaking generally and replace 'the advertisement' with 'them' to match plural. Remove repeated 'if you'. Suggestion: simplify conditional and keep pronoun agreement.

× But if the the, the advertisement is have a objective and have some creative and then you don't force me to watch it, I I will like it, yes.

✓ But if the advertisement has a clear purpose and is creative, and you don't force me to watch it, I will like it.

Errors: 'is have a objective' mixes verb forms; use 'has a clear purpose' or 'is objective' but not both. 'Have some creative' should be 'is creative' or 'shows creativity.' Remove doubled words and filler 'I I'. Suggestion: use correct verb 'has' and adjective forms, and keep clauses parallel.

× The important point is that the advertisements is not force me to watch and the second I really like is if the advertisement is entertaining and it's so creative and may made me have some thought and I really like it like this.

✓ The important point is that advertisements do not force me to watch them, and secondly, I really like ads that are entertaining, creative, and make me think.

Subject-verb agreement and verb forms: 'advertisements is' should be 'advertisements do not'; 'not force me to watch' needs an infinitive or passive restructuring. 'May made me have some thought' mixes modal and past tense; use 'make me think.' Streamline and use parallel structure in the list. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement, use correct verb forms, and list characteristics in a parallel way.