Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 명확한 주제문으로 시작하고 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 조사/관사 오류와 어순 오류를 고치고 구체적인 세부사항(광고의 내용, 왜 인상적이었는지, 기억에 남는 장면 등)을 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 또한 문장은 3~4개 이내로 유지하고 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 논리적으로 연결하세요.

예시: The advertisement that impressed me as a child was a TV commercial for a toy line. It featured bright colors and a catchy song, which made it memorable. Because the toys were very popular among my classmates, I begged my parents to buy them.

제안: 문장을 더 간결하고 정확하게 만드세요. 복잡한 구조 대신 간단한 주제문과 1~2개의 구체적 이유를 제시하고 연결어(However, because)를 사용하세요. 관사와 어법 오류를 고치고 중복 표현을 피하세요.

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements and sellers on trains. For example, people sometimes push snack carts through carriages, but the prices are usually high, so most passengers only look and do not buy. Therefore, I think the service could be managed more efficiently.

제안: 의미가 명확하도록 비교 구조를 정리하세요. '때에 따라 다르다'는 주제문을 말한 뒤 구체적 예와 이유를 각각 간결히 설명하세요. 어휘(appeal → appealing; get lose interest → lose interest)와 문법(관사, 시제)을 바로잡으세요.

예시: It depends on the situation whether I like advertisements. At home, TV ads often bore me because they are repetitive and not funny. However, on a plane or train I read ads in newspapers or magazines because I have nothing else to do and they can be interesting.

제안: 답변을 완성된 문장으로 정리하고 구체적 이유와 예를 하나씩 주어야 합니다. 불완전한 문장을 피하고, 관심 이유를 명확히 설명하세요. 단문과 연결어(because, for example)를 사용하세요.

예시: I like ads related to my hobbies, such as promotions for Pokémon cards or new phones. For example, when a new iPhone is announced I pay attention because I am interested in its features and design.

제안: 문장을 더 간결히 하고 핵심을 명확히 하세요. 플랫폼별로 나누어 한두 문장으로 비교 설명하고, 어휘(ads, Instagram, reels)와 문법(시제, 관사, 관계절)을 바로잡으세요. 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요.

예시: Yes, I see many ads on my phone but fewer on my computer because I mostly use my computer for studying. On Instagram, I often encounter short ads in Reels which I find boring, while YouTube sometimes shows ads before videos.

× I found a advertisement related to toys, which is quite intriguing and imposing because every child they, they like toys.

✓ I found an advertisement related to toys, which is quite intriguing and impressive because every child likes toys.

'a advertisement' -> 'an advertisement' (article before vowel sound). 'imposing' is wrong choice; use 'impressive'. Remove redundant pronoun 'they' and change 'every child they like' to 'every child likes' for subject-verb agreement and correct singular usage. Suggestion: Use 'an' before vowel sounds, avoid redundant pronouns, and ensure singular subjects use singular verbs.

× I found that there was a real person just selling a snacks and which is setting about the cart and which is quite common in China.

✓ I noticed a person selling snacks at a cart, which is quite common in China.

'a snacks' should be 'snacks' without 'a' because 'snacks' is plural. 'setting about the cart' is incorrect; use 'at a cart'. Remove unnecessary 'which is' repetition and simplify sentence structure. Suggestion: Match articles to noun number, use 'at' for location, and avoid repetitive clauses.

× But the price is really high that people normally they don't, they don't buy it, they just looking and yes, so I think the management is not efficient.

✓ But the price is so high that people normally don't buy it; they just look, so I think the management is not efficient.

'they don't, they don't buy it' is redundant; use single 'don't'. 'just looking' should be 'just look' to match present simple. 'so high that' is correct structure but replace commas with appropriate punctuation. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual actions, avoid redundancy, and use correct verb forms after 'just'.

× Well, I think it is different by the situations like when I'm watching TV in my home, if there are advertisements that appeal in there, then I'll get lose interest and getting bored because it's not funny.

✓ Well, I think it depends on the situation. When I'm watching TV at home, if there are unappealing advertisements, I lose interest and get bored because they're not entertaining.

'different by the situations' -> 'depends on the situation'. 'in my home' -> 'at home'. 'if there are advertisements that appeal in there' -> 'if there are unappealing advertisements' or 'if the advertisements are not appealing'. 'I'll get lose interest and getting bored' mixes future and gerund; use present simple 'I lose interest and get bored'. Suggestion: Use 'depends on' for conditional preference, use 'at home', maintain consistent tense and correct verb forms.

× But if I found newspapers which is in advertisement in the plane or train, I'll get very interested because there's nothing to do.

✓ But if I find advertisements in newspapers or on a plane or train, I become very interested because there is nothing to do.

'if I found' should be 'if I find' for present habitual condition. 'newspapers which is in advertisement' is wrong structure; use 'advertisements in newspapers'. Use prepositions 'in' for newspapers and 'on' for plane or train. 'I'll get very interested' -> 'I become very interested' or 'I get very interested'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions ('in' vs 'on'), match verb tense for habitual actions, and use logical noun phrases.

× Oh, I like advertisements that relate to my hobbies such as advertising Pokémon cards or other brands that I'm interested in such as if there's new iPhone, iPhone developed then I'll get very interested in that advertisement because I personally.

✓ Oh, I like advertisements related to my hobbies, such as those for Pokémon cards or other brands I'm interested in. If a new iPhone is released, I become very interested in that advertisement because I like the product.

Sentence is run-on and ungrammatical: 'such as advertising Pokémon cards' should be 'such as those for Pokémon cards'. 'such as if there's new iPhone, iPhone developed' is incorrect; use 'If a new iPhone is released'. 'because I personally' is incomplete; complete the clause explaining why. Suggestion: Break long sentences into shorter clauses, use 'released' for product launches, and complete explanations.

× Usually informed because I rarely use my computers instead of for studying and in phones I usually found that for Instagram there are many advertisement which is contained in reels which I found quite boring and in YouTube or other things they rarely have some advertisement which containing some variety shows like.

✓ Usually I am informed because I rarely use my computer except for studying. On my phone, I find that Instagram has many advertisements in reels, which I find quite boring, while YouTube and other platforms rarely have ads that contain variety shows.

Multiple preposition and article errors: 'use my computers instead of for studying' -> 'use my computer except for studying'. 'in phones' -> 'on my phone'. 'many advertisement' -> 'many advertisements'. 'which is contained in reels' -> 'in reels'. 'they rarely have some advertisement which containing' -> 'rarely have ads that contain'. Suggestion: Use 'on' for phone/computer platforms, match singular/plural nouns, and use 'that' for relative clauses with verbs.