Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence naming the ad, then give specific reasons and avoid unclear phrases. Use linking words and correct tense. Keep to 2–4 concise sentences.

예시: Yes. The advertisement I remember most from my childhood was for a fast-food chain. I liked it because it had a catchy jingle and bright, eye-catching banners, which made the brand easy to remember.

제안: Correct word order and grammar, and use linking words to connect ideas. Be specific about types of ads and how they influence you. Keep it natural and concise.

예시: Absolutely. I often see many ads on buses and jeeps when I commute. Because they are large and colorful, they usually catch my attention and make me curious about the products.

제안: Start with a clear opinion, then give a specific reason and a brief example. Fix grammar (e.g. 'scams' or 'misleading') and avoid repetition. Use a linking word for the example.

예시: Honestly, I don't like many advertisements because some are misleading and promise things they don't deliver. For example, a fast-food chain advertised larger chicken portions, but when I bought it the size was the same.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence naming preferred ad features, use correct grammar and avoid filler words. Provide one or two specific features and a brief reason or example. Keep within 2–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer advertisements that are bright and use a catchy tune because they are memorable. They should also be relevant and honest so that I trust the product.

제안: Give a direct answer, then add a concise reason with correct phrasing. Avoid vague phrases like 'ever since it was invented'—be specific about social media and targeted ads.

예시: Yes, I see ads most of the time when I use my phone or computer. This is because social media and websites show targeted ads based on my interests and browsing history.

× Yes, there were a lot of advertisements that I have seen when I was a child.

✓ Yes, there were a lot of advertisements that I saw when I was a child.

Mixed tenses: 'have seen' (present perfect) conflicts with the past time reference 'when I was a child'. Use simple past 'saw' for completed actions at a specific time in the past. Also 'there were a lot of advertisements' is fine for plural.

× The one that I most remember is about a fast food chain.

✓ The one I remember most was for a fast-food chain.

Word order and tense: 'most remember' is awkward; place 'most' after 'remember' and use past tense 'was' to match 'when I was a child'. Also 'for a fast-food chain' is a more natural preposition and hyphenation for compound adjective.

× Because of the jiggle and the vivid tarpaulin, it was released.

✓ It was memorable because of its jingle and the vivid tarpaulin display.

Unclear subject and wrong word choice: 'jiggle' is incorrect; 'jingle' (a short song) is appropriate. 'It was released' is wrong in context; say 'It was memorable' or 'It caught my attention'. Also add possessive 'its' for clarity.

× Absolutely, I've seen a lot of advertisements when never I commute specially to bus or jeepneys.

✓ Absolutely, I see a lot of advertisements whenever I commute, especially on buses or jeepneys.

Incorrect word order 'when never I commute' should be 'whenever I commute'. Tense: use present simple 'see' for habitual actions. 'specially' should be 'especially' and use plural 'buses'.

× Indeed, it gives me an idea about a certain item that was advertised and it really catches my attention and interest.

✓ Indeed, they give me an idea about the advertised item and really catch my attention and interest.

Pronoun and subject agreement: 'it' is wrong for plural 'advertisements'; use 'they' and plural verbs 'give' and 'catch'. Also streamline 'a certain item that was advertised' to 'the advertised item' for clarity.

× Honestly, I don't really like advertisements because some of them are scam in providing false hope, false information regarding a certain item.

✓ Honestly, I don't really like advertisements because some of them are scams, providing false hope and false information about certain items.

Count noun: 'scam' should be plural 'scams' or 'a scam'. Use 'providing' as a participle to link clauses. 'regarding a certain item' is better as 'about certain items' for generalization.

× For example, a fast food chain claims that their their chicken became bigger in size, however upon purchasing one, it doesn't.

✓ For example, a fast-food chain claimed that their chicken had become bigger in size; however, upon purchasing one, it didn't.

Tense consistency: use past 'claimed' and past perfect 'had become' to report a previous claim, then simple past 'it didn't' to state the result. Also remove duplicate 'their' and hyphenate 'fast-food'.

× The advertisements I like is typically vivid in color and catchy tone if in terms of jiggles.

✓ The advertisements I like are typically vivid in color and have a catchy tone, especially in terms of jingles.

Subject-verb agreement: 'advertisements' (plural) requires 'are'. Word choice: 'jiggles' should be 'jingles'. Use 'have a catchy tone' and 'especially' instead of 'if'.

× At the same time, it must be appropriate and, umm, interested enough to.

✓ At the same time, they must be appropriate and interesting enough to engage me.

Pronoun agreement and word choice: 'it' should be 'they' to match 'advertisements'. 'Interested' is incorrect; use 'interesting'. Complete the thought with 'to engage me'.

× It's maybe because social media has been widely known and it has become popular ever since it was invented.

✓ Maybe it's because social media has become widely known and popular since it was introduced.

Awkward phrasing and tense: 'has been widely known' is wordy; use 'has become widely known'. 'Ever since it was invented' is awkward for a technology; 'since it was introduced' or 'since it appeared' is more natural. Keep present perfect for ongoing relevance.