Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity, grammar and organization. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two specific details. Use correct verb tenses and proper nouns (Disneyland, character names). Avoid long hesitations and unclear words. Aim for 2–4 concise sentences and use linking words like "because" or "for example."

예시: Yes. A Disney advertisement left a strong impression on me as a child because its illustrations were very beautiful. For example, the poster showed a princess with a bright castle in the background, and I felt excited to visit Disneyland. This clear image stayed with me for many years.

제안: Correct basic grammar (lie/laid/ride) and use a clearer structure: direct answer then supporting detail. Be specific about what kinds of ads you see and what you learn. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid repetition. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements on trains and buses. For example, many posters promote local travel and books, so I can learn about Japanese culture and find useful reading recommendations. These ads help me discover places I might want to visit.

제안: Give a direct, concise reason and one specific example of what you like about adverts. Fix grammar (e.g. "when I ride on the train") and avoid fillers. Use linking words like "because" and "for example" and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I like advertisements because they give useful information. For example, train posters often tell me about new books and amusement parks, which helps me decide what to read or where to visit.

제안: Answer directly and give one specific reason and example. Improve sentence flow and remove redundancy. Use vocabulary like "illustrations" or "characters" and link ideas with "because" or "so." Limit to 2–3 clear sentences.

예시: I especially like Disney advertisements because their illustrations and characters are charming. For example, colorful posters of Mickey Mouse or princesses make me feel happy and curious about the story.

제안: Be more precise and natural: state frequency, where you see them and why they affect you. Use correct verb forms (I get, it makes me interested) and clearer examples. Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid filler words like "umm."

예시: Yes, I often see ads on my phone, especially on YouTube videos. For example, travel ads make me interested in visiting new places because they show beautiful scenes and activities.

× Uh, it were there was when I was charred.

✓ Uh, it was there when I was a child.

This sentence has multiple issues: incorrect verb form 'were' should be 'was' for singular past tense (Past tense issue, ID 5), and 'charred' is wrong word choice for 'child' (vocabulary error but fits as sentence structure). Use 'it was there when I was a child.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct word choice.

× I've been to the Disneyland.

✓ I've been to Disneyland.

Article error (ID 22) and stylistic: 'the' is unnecessary before proper noun 'Disneyland'. Remove 'the' to say 'I've been to Disneyland.' This fits present perfect to indicate experience.

× The advertisement out there was very amazing because the place's drawing was very beautiful and I was attracted by the, the Allio.

✓ The advertisement there was very impressive because the illustrations of the place were very beautiful and I was attracted by the art.

Multiple problems: 'very amazing' is a weak adjective choice (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13) — 'impressive' is better. 'place's drawing' is unnatural; use 'illustrations of the place' and plural 'were' for plural noun (Singular and plural issue, ID 1). 'Allio' is unclear; replaced with 'art' which fits context. Ensure noun-number agreement and natural adjective choice.

× She is the Princess of Muhammad and she was very pretty.

✓ She is the princess of the story and she was very pretty.

Potential incorrect proper noun 'Muhammad' likely wrong referent; this is a pronoun/noun reference issue (Incorrect use of pronouns/nouns, ID 12). Use a clearer noun like 'the story' or 'the show'. Keep tense consistent: 'is' for present identity and 'was' for past appearance is acceptable if referring to depiction; better to use 'is' and 'is very pretty' if describing character.

× Yes, when I lied in the train, I always watch the advertisement around the train because it is very good to see.

✓ Yes, when I lie on the train, I always watch the advertisements around the train because they are nice to look at.

Verb tense/word choice errors: 'lied' is wrong (past tense of 'lie' meaning recline is 'lay', but here present habit requires base form 'lie') — Present tense issue (ID 6). 'watch' should be 'watch' with subject-verb agreement 'I always watch' is fine; 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' (Singular and plural issue, ID 1). 'it is very good to see' is unnatural; use 'they are nice to look at' for clarity (Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs, ID 13). Also preposition 'in the train' -> 'on the train' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11).

× I can, because I, I mean I can learn the culture. Culture of Japan and I can get many information from book.

✓ I can, because I mean I can learn about the culture, the culture of Japan, and I can get much information from books.

Preposition and article issues: 'learn the culture' should be 'learn about the culture' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11). 'Culture of Japan' needs article or connector; better 'the culture of Japan.' 'many information' is incorrect quantifier with uncountable noun; use 'much information' or 'a lot of information' (Incorrect use of quantifiers, ID 14). 'from book' needs plural or article: 'from books' or 'from a book' (Article errors, ID 22).

× Uh, yes, I like it because as I said, I often watch the advert, the advertisement when I live in the train and the advertisement teach me the information about books or amusement park or, uh, pulling my and uh.

✓ Uh, yes, I like them because, as I said, I often watch the advertisements when I ride the train and the advertisements teach me information about books or amusement parks or other things.

Multiple tense and agreement issues: 'like it' should be 'like them' because 'advertisements' plural (Singular and plural issue, ID 1). 'live in the train' is wrong verb; use 'ride the train' or 'on the train' (Incorrect use of prepositions/verbs, IDs 11 and 6). 'advertisement teach' needs third person singular/plural agreement; 'advertisements teach' (Subject-verb agreement, ID 27). 'information about books or amusement park' needs plural 'amusement parks' and no article (Incorrect use of quantifiers/adjectives, IDs 14/13). 'pulling my' unclear; replaced with 'other things'.

× I definitely like the Disney advertisement because that drawing is very beautiful on the I naturally like Disney characters, so I like just watching it.

✓ I definitely like Disney advertisements because the drawings are very beautiful and I naturally like Disney characters, so I enjoy just watching them.

Adjective and number errors: 'the Disney advertisement' can be plural 'Disney advertisements' for general preference (Singular and plural issue, ID 1). 'that drawing is' should be 'the drawings are' to agree with plural 'advertisements' (Subject-verb agreement/Plural, IDs 1 and 27). 'on the I' is nonsense; removed. 'I like just watching it' should match plural 'them' (Pronoun agreement, ID 12). Use 'enjoy' for smoother phrasing (Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs, ID 13).

× It's very fantastic.

✓ It's fantastic.

Redundant adverb use: 'very fantastic' is awkward; 'fantastic' is strong enough (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs, ID 13). Keep concise and natural.

× Yes I do. When I watch YouTube I often see the advertisement during the video.

✓ Yes I do. When I watch YouTube I often see advertisements during the video.

Singular/plural: use plural 'advertisements' for general occurrences (Singular and plural issue, ID 1). 'during the video' is acceptable; could also say 'in the videos' for naturalness.

× For example umm trip out of advertisement and when I see it I got too interested in going to the trip.

✓ For example, a travel advertisement, and when I see it I get very interested in going on the trip.

Sentence structure and tense errors: 'trip out of advertisement' is ungrammatical — restructure to 'a travel advertisement' (Sentence structure errors, ID 26). 'got' is past tense but context is habitual/present; use 'get' (Present tense issue, ID 6). 'going to the trip' should be 'going on the trip' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11).

× So it is very good way for them.

✓ So it is a very good way for them.

Article omission: 'very good way' needs an article 'a' (Article errors, ID 22). Context 'for them' is fine meaning for advertisers; sentence could be 'So it is a very good way for them to advertise.'