Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (uh, um) and grammatical errors. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas. Keep your response to no more than 4–5 sentences.

예시: When I was a child, the most memorable advertisement for me was a toothpaste commercial. It stuck in my mind because I had cavities at the time and the ad promised strong whitening and cavity protection. Because the ad showed before-and-after images and a confident dentist endorsement, I believed it and asked my parents to buy that toothpaste.

제안: Start with a direct and grammatically correct topic sentence. Use clear linking phrases (for example, "for example," "also") and complete your thoughts—avoid trailing off. Provide one specific example of transport advertising and explain briefly how it affects you. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I see many advertisements on trains and buses. For example, trains often have large printed posters and digital screens showing promotions for apps and travel deals. These ads catch my attention because they are bright and often include short videos or scrolling text.

제안: Answer directly whether you like advertisements and explain why with specific details. Avoid awkward phrasing and grammar mistakes (e.g., "I'm really into" not "I'm really after at"). Mention one clear reason and an example, using linking words like "because" or "so." Keep it to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I like some advertisements, especially those about food and nutrition because I am interested in diet and health. For instance, I pay attention to ads for protein products that claim to help build muscle, and I check whether they include clear ingredient lists and scientific support. If an ad seems misleading, I become skeptical and research the product further.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence about the type of ads you prefer and explain with one or two precise reasons and an example. Use simpler vocabulary (e.g., "emotional" instead of "inundate") and correct grammar. Avoid repetition and long, unclear phrases. Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer emotional or storytelling advertisements because they create a strong connection with the viewer. For example, a short ad that shows a family enjoying a product can make me trust the brand more and sometimes leads to an impulsive purchase. These ads work well because they appeal to feelings rather than just facts.

제안: Start with a straightforward answer and then give two specific examples of where you see ads. Avoid exclamations and fillers, and use correct verb forms (e.g., "I often see ads when I browse Facebook or websites"). Conclude with a short opinion sentence explaining why you dislike them. Keep it to 3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements when I use my phone or computer. For example, when I browse Facebook or news sites I see many banner ads and sometimes video ads interrupting content; even messaging apps occasionally show pop-ups. I dislike these interruptions because they distract me from what I am doing.

× There were several commercial which impacted me in great way and advertisement that I remember vividly is was uh, regarding toothpaste.

✓ There were several commercials which impacted me in a great way, and the advertisement that I remember vividly was about toothpaste.

Use plural 'commercials' for 'several'; add article 'a' before 'great way'; replace awkward 'is was uh, regarding' with 'was about' to correct tense and preposition use. Suggestion: ensure noun number agrees with quantifiers and use simple phrasing for clarity.

× Moreover, I was suffering from broken tooth as well as some cavities.

✓ Moreover, I was suffering from a broken tooth as well as some cavities.

Add article 'a' before 'broken tooth' because singular countable nouns need an article. Tense 'was suffering' is fine. Suggestion: include articles with singular countable nouns.

× So when I saw an advertisement regarding toothpaste which has miracle value to whiten the teeth as well as clear the cavities, I got.

✓ So when I saw an advertisement about a toothpaste that claimed it could whiten teeth and clear cavities, I decided to try it.

Original sentence ends abruptly with 'I got' and has awkward clause order. Restructure to complete the thought, use past tense 'claimed' consistent with 'saw', and replace 'miracle value to whiten the teeth as well as clear the cavities' with natural phrasing. Suggestion: finish the main clause and use clear verbs like 'decided to try'.

× Yes, these days this trend is on surge.

✓ Yes, these days this trend is on the surge.

Add definite article 'the' before 'surge' to make the noun phrase grammatically correct. Alternatively use 'is surging' for active form. Suggestion: choose appropriate article or change to progressive verb form.

× I'm watching lots of advertisement are being done via, uh, train and uh, buses.

✓ I see a lot of advertisements on trains and buses these days.

Original mixes continuous 'I'm watching' with passive clause incorrectly. Use 'see' with plural 'advertisements' and plural noun 'trains'/'buses'. Suggestion: simplify to subject + verb + object and ensure plural forms.

× Moreover, they're also using display screens as well as effective presentation to, uh, show the particular product to a wider audience.

✓ Moreover, they are also using display screens and effective presentations to show particular products to a wider audience.

Use plural 'presentations' to match 'they' and plural 'products' for generality. 'Show the particular product' is awkward; 'show particular products' fits better. Suggestion: match number and use correct noun forms.

× Umm, moreover, I get affected by a lot because.

✓ Umm, moreover, I am affected a lot by them because they catch my attention.

Original sentence fragments and lacks object and reason. Add 'by them' to indicate advertisements and complete the clause with a reason. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and include subjects/objects.

× Definitely, yes, I'm really after at commercials on food and nutrition, especially, uh, the one which are providing the product regarding proteins to boost the muscle.

✓ Definitely yes, I'm really into commercials about food and nutrition, especially those that advertise products with protein to help build muscle.

Replace awkward 'after at' with 'into'; use 'commercials' plural and 'those' as correct pronoun; 'advertise products with protein' is natural. 'Boost the muscle' corrected to 'help build muscle'. Suggestion: use correct phrasal verbs and pronouns to refer to plural nouns.

× Moreover, I really want to analyze if they have omit any kind of information or misguiding the public in any way or, uh, providing the useful information being a dietitian item.

✓ Moreover, I really want to analyze if they have omitted any information or are misleading the public in any way, or if they are providing useful information about diet-related products.

Use past participle 'omitted' after 'have'; change 'misguiding' to present continuous 'are misleading' for ongoing action; rephrase 'providing the useful information being a dietitian item' to 'providing useful information about diet-related products'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms after auxiliary verbs and prefer clear noun phrases.

× I like all the advertisement especially the impulsive one which has a story and develop an inundate connection with you.

✓ I like all advertisements, especially the impactful ones that have a story and develop a deep connection with you.

Use plural 'advertisements' and replace 'impulsive' (wrong meaning) with 'impactful'; 'develop an inundate connection' is incorrect—use 'develop a deep connection'. Ensure adjective-noun agreement. Suggestion: choose adjectives that match intended meaning and use correct collocations.

× Moreover, it is emphasized due to complete what is your lacking because these advertisements are more effective in my area and people do impulsive buying by these by doing these kind of by influencing.

✓ Moreover, it is emphasized because these advertisements address what people lack; they are very effective in my area and often lead to impulsive purchases.

Original is repetitive and ungrammatical. Restructure into clear clauses: cause ('because') and result ('lead to impulsive purchases'). Remove redundant phrases. Suggestion: express cause and effect clearly and avoid repetition.

× Oh my God, frequently, umm, whenever I browse my Facebook or browsing website, I'm getting lots of advertisement.

✓ Oh my God, frequently, whenever I browse Facebook or websites, I see lots of advertisements.

Use parallel verbs 'browse Facebook or websites' not mixed forms; 'I'm getting lots of advertisement' is wrong — use 'I see lots of advertisements' or 'I get a lot of advertisements'. Ensure plural 'advertisements'. Suggestion: maintain parallel structure and correct noun number.

× Moreover, even I, if I open my WhatsApp account just to reply somebody, somehow an advertisement pop up during that chat.

✓ Moreover, even if I open my WhatsApp just to reply to somebody, an advertisement sometimes pops up during the chat.

Remove misplaced comma and reorder 'even if I open my WhatsApp' for conditional clause; add 'to' after 'reply'; change 'pop up' to 'pops up' to agree with singular 'an advertisement'. Suggestion: place prepositions correctly and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× I really don't like to uh, get disruption and distraction uh.

✓ I really don't like to get disrupted or distracted.

Use verbs 'get disrupted' and 'distracted' rather than nouns 'disruption' and 'distraction' after 'get'. Parallel verb forms improve fluency. Suggestion: use appropriate verb/adjective forms after 'get' and maintain parallel structure.