Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện rõ ràng câu chủ đề và cấu trúc câu; tránh lặp câu và tiếng lắp (umm, uh). Nên dùng câu ngắn gọn, liên kết bằng từ nối (because, so, for example) và đưa chi tiết cụ thể hơn về lý do bạn ấn tượng (ví dụ: nhạc nền, nhân vật, hoặc đồ họa).

예시: I remember a TV advert for dolls that impressed me most as a child because it used bright colours and a catchy song. For example, the dolls wore pink and blue outfits and danced in a colourful set, which made them memorable. Because I loved playing with dolls, the cheerful music and lively animation stayed in my mind.

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp nhỏ (prepositions, articles) và thêm liên kết để giải thích vì sao quảng cáo đó thu hút bạn; đưa ví dụ cụ thể (màu sắc, hình ảnh người nổi tiếng) để câu trả lời có chiều sâu hơn.

예시: Yes, I often see advertisements on buses and other public transport when I travel into the city. Many of them are celebrity endorsements for cosmetics, which are eye-catching because they use vivid colours and famous faces. For example, a large poster of a singer wearing bold makeup always catches my attention.

제안: Cần trả lời trực tiếp với một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sửa ngữ pháp và tránh lặp từ (like, I think). Nên mở rộng bằng lý do cụ thể và một liên kết (because, therefore) để câu mạch lạc hơn.

예시: Not really. Advertisements annoy me, especially when they interrupt my favourite films because they break the mood. Therefore, I often feel irritated and sometimes I turn the sound down during the breaks.

제안: Giữ câu ngắn, loại bỏ tiếng ngập ngừng và sửa cấu trúc (ví dụ: 'I like adverts for clothes and accessories'). Thêm lý do cụ thể và ví dụ (thương hiệu, kiểu dáng) để chứng minh lý do bạn thích loại quảng cáo này.

예시: I prefer advertisements for clothes and accessories because I follow fashion closely and want to improve my appearance. For instance, ads from a popular streetwear brand often show outfit ideas that inspire me to try new styles.

제안: Tránh câu bị chia cắt và sửa lỗi nhỏ (visit to → visit). Nên dùng từ nối (so, therefore) để diễn đạt tác động và thêm chi tiết cụ thể về loại quảng cáo (pop-ups, banners) để câu cụ thể hơn.

예시: Yes, absolutely. Whether I'm on my phone or my computer, advertisements often appear as pop-ups or banner ads on websites. As a result, they frequently interrupt my browsing and can be quite frustrating.

× Yes, definitely there was various types of advertisements on TV at that time drill my attention.

✓ Yes, definitely there were various types of advertisements on TV at that time that caught my attention.

'There was' is singular; 'various types' is plural so use 'there were'. 'Drill my attention' is incorrect collocation; use 'caught my attention'. Also add 'that' to link clause. Suggestions: Use 'there were' with plural nouns and common collocations like 'caught my attention'.

× But when I must say that impressed me the most is advertisement about toys, particularly dolls, because I loved dolls and like uh, it appearance on TV.

✓ But if I have to say what impressed me the most, it's advertisements about toys, particularly dolls, because I loved dolls and liked their appearance on TV.

Sentence structure and tense: 'must say' is unnatural here; use 'have to say'. 'Is advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' or 'an advertisement' and use 'what' to introduce a clause. Maintain past tense 'loved' and 'liked'. Use correct possessive 'their appearance'. Suggestions: Use 'If I have to say what impressed me the most, it was...' and match verb tenses and possessives.

× They make it umm, perfectly colorful.

✓ They made them very colorful.

Tense and modifier: match past tense 'made' with earlier past context. 'Perfectly colorful' is unnatural; use 'very colorful'. Also 'it' should refer to plural 'them' (advertisements/dolls). Suggestions: Use natural adverbs like 'very' and ensure number agreement with pronouns.

× Uh, which combine many colours together like blue, red, pink, and I love the way it, uh, appears like funny in a funny way.

✓ They combined many colors together like blue, red and pink, and I loved the way they appeared in a funny way.

'Which' clause is incorrectly attached; use independent clause. Ensure past tense 'combined' and 'appeared'. Pronoun number: 'they' for plural. Avoid redundant phrases like 'like funny in a funny way'—use 'in a funny way'. Suggestions: Keep clauses clear, match verb tense, and avoid redundancy.

× Yes, I often see advertisements on buses and other public transport when I go to the main road.

✓ Yes, I often see advertisements on buses and other public transport when I go to the main road.

No correction needed; sentence is correct. (Kept original.)

× Many are celebrity endorsements on for cosmetics which are very eye-catching and easily attract my attention.

✓ Many are celebrity endorsements for cosmetics which are very eye-catching and easily attract my attention.

'On for' is incorrect; use 'for' to indicate products being endorsed. The rest of the sentence is acceptable. Suggestions: Use 'endorsements for cosmetics' or 'cosmetic endorsements'.

× Not really, especially when I'm watching my favorite movie then a certain advertisement appears will disturb me and like worsen my mood I think.

✓ Not really, especially when I'm watching my favorite movie; a certain advertisement appearing will disturb me and worsen my mood, I think.

Original combines clauses incorrectly and mixes tenses/structures. Use gerund 'appearing' or restructure: 'a certain advertisement appearing will disturb me'. Remove filler 'like' and place commas to separate clauses. Suggestions: Use clear clause connectors and consistent verb forms.

× I find it really annoying for me.

✓ I find it really annoying.

'For me' is redundant after 'I find'; the pronoun 'it' already refers to the situation. Use concise phrasing. Suggestions: Avoid redundant pronouns/phrases.

× Oh, I think that, umm, kind of into advertisements by clothes and accessories because, you know, I'm pursuing a highly fashionable style, uh, because I want to Polish my appearance and, uh, promote, uh, my look.

✓ Oh, I think I'm kind of into advertisements for clothes and accessories because, you know, I'm pursuing a highly fashionable style; I want to polish my appearance and promote my look.

'Into advertisements by clothes' is incorrect; use 'into advertisements for clothes'. 'Polish' should be lowercase. Remove extra fillers and use infinitives 'to polish' and 'to promote' or parallel verbs. Also use semicolon or conjunction for clarity. Suggestions: Use 'into' + 'advertisements for [product]'; keep verbs parallel.

× So I, I find those advertisements are quite interesting.

✓ So I find those advertisements quite interesting.

Extra 'I' is redundant and 'find those advertisements are' is awkward; use 'find those advertisements quite interesting' or 'find that those advertisements are quite interesting'. Suggestions: Remove repeated words and use 'find [something] [adjective]' or 'find that...'.

× Sometimes I find umm, my some stuff that related to my style, so yeah.

✓ Sometimes I find some items that relate to my style, so yeah.

'My some stuff' is incorrect order; use 'some of my stuff' or better 'some items'. 'That related' needs present tense 'that relate' to match habitual present. Use precise nouns. Suggestions: Use 'some items' or 'some of my things' and ensure verb agreement.

× Yes, absolutely. Whether I'm on my phone or on my computer, and whenever I visit to a random website, advertisements always, uh, appear to disturb me at any time.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Whether I'm on my phone or my computer, whenever I visit a random website, advertisements always appear and disturb me at any time.

'Visit to a website' is incorrect; use 'visit a website'. Remove extra 'on' before 'my computer' and unnecessary commas. 'Appear to disturb me' is awkward—use 'appear and disturb me'. Suggestions: Use 'visit a website' and streamline clause connectors.