Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more coherent and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific details and link ideas. Avoid unclear phrases like "when a water shop" and "I remember being a mess." Use linking words (for example, because, and, so) and keep to 3–4 sentences.

예시: A clear answer: “Yes. I remember a shampoo commercial starring popular Korean idols from my childhood. Their energy and charisma in a shower scene made the ad very memorable because it made the product look stylish and desirable. As a result, I associated the brand with youth and glamour.”

제안: Provide a direct topic sentence, correct verb forms, and add a specific example. Use a linking word to explain why those ads are common or effective. Keep it concise and natural.

예시: A clearer response: “Yes, I do. I often see posters and digital ads on trains featuring popular celebrities because companies think famous faces attract attention. For example, I recently saw a car advertisement with a famous actor plastered across the carriage, which made the ad hard to miss.”

제안: Answer directly and use correct grammar. Explain reasons with specific details and link them logically (e.g., because, so). Avoid filler sounds and incomplete sentences. Mention one or two concrete examples of annoying ads.

예시: A better answer: “No, I don’t like advertisements. They are especially annoying when they pop up during mobile games or YouTube videos because they interrupt what I’m doing and sometimes require payment to remove them. As a result, I often pay for ad-free versions or use ad blockers.”

제안: Be specific about what “creative” means and give a concrete example. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a linked supporting detail and a short example. Avoid hesitation and vague phrases.

예시: A stronger reply: “I prefer creative advertising that tells a short story or uses humor because it’s memorable. For example, a billboard that turns a common situation into a clever joke about the product usually catches my attention and makes me remember the brand.”

제안: Clarify and correct vocabulary and verb forms. Give a concise topic sentence, then explain with a specific example how ads appear and why they are annoying. Use linking words like “for example” and “because.”

예시: A clear answer: “Yes, I see a lot of ads on my phone and computer. For example, game ads and intrusive pop-ups often appear when I play or browse, which is frustrating because they disrupt my activity. Therefore I usually close them immediately or use an ad blocker.”

× Yes, when a water shop.

✓ Yes, at a water shop.

The original phrase lacks clarity and proper preposition use, creating a sentence structure problem. 'When' is incorrect for indicating location or time here. Use 'at' to indicate the location: 'at a water shop.' If the speaker meant time, rephrase to 'When I was at a water shop.'

× I really like Korean idols and one advertisement that impressed me show them performing in a shower scene or shampoo commercial.

✓ I really like Korean idols, and one advertisement that impressed me showed them performing in a shower scene for a shampoo commercial.

Subject-verb agreement and tense issues arise because 'show' should match past tense 'impressed me.' Use 'showed.' Also add 'for a' to specify the purpose: 'for a shampoo commercial.' Use commas to separate clauses.

× I remember being a mess by their energy and charisma and it made the product seem very attractive and stylish.

✓ I remember being amazed by their energy and charisma, and it made the product seem very attractive and stylish.

'A mess' is incorrect collocation here; the intended meaning is likely 'amazed.' Replace with correct adjective. Comma before 'and' joins two independent clauses. 'Remember' can be present tense when recalling a past feeling; 'being amazed' is correct.

× Uh, I often, I often seen like the people who are very popular or in the train or tram, like they try to encourage people to buy something.

✓ Uh, I often see people who are very popular on the train or tram; they try to encourage people to buy things.

'Seen' is the past participle; with 'I often' use simple present 'see.' Remove repeated phrase and fix preposition: 'on the train.' Use plural 'things' for general objects.

× Ah no I don't uh to be honest is I feel it annoying when it's pop up when I play game or see the video on YouTube and to get rid of them I have to pay some fee or.

✓ Ah no, I don't. To be honest, I find it annoying when ads pop up while I play games or watch videos on YouTube, and to get rid of them I have to pay a fee.

Sentence had pronoun and structure errors: 'I don't' needs completion and punctuation. 'I feel it annoying' is incorrect; use 'I find it annoying.' 'It's pop up' should be 'ads pop up.' Use plural 'games' and 'watch videos.' 'Some fee' -> 'a fee.' Remove trailing 'or.'

× MMM, I would say I like the creative advertising for example, like they try to adapt like some suit situation to be the advertisement like some product that can.

✓ Mm, I would say I like creative advertising; for example, when they adapt a suitable situation to create an advertisement for a product.

Original uses awkward repetitious 'like' and incorrect noun forms. Use 'creative advertising' (no 'the'), 'suitable situation' not 'suit situation,' and 'to create an advertisement for a product' completes the idea. Use gerund/infinitive forms correctly.

× Yes I do, I'm offering see the gamertag's main or the green bean advertisement pop up or in my phone when I'm scoring my fate and it's so annoying.

✓ Yes I do. I often see gamer ads or green bean advertisements pop up on my phone when I'm playing games, and it's so annoying.

Original has many incorrect words ('offering' should be 'often'; 'gamertag's main' unclear -> 'gamer ads'; 'scoring my fate' unclear -> 'playing games'). Fix sentence fragments and use consistent tense and vocabulary. Use 'pop up on my phone' for correct preposition.