Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and simplify your opening sentence, correct grammar, and add a clear topic sentence followed by 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid vague words like "sins" and reduce redundancy. Also correct verb forms and word order (e.g., "launched by" → "launched by the government" or better "a government anti-drug commercial").

예시: A government anti-drug commercial made a strong impression on me when I was a child. It showed how taking drugs could cause hallucinations and dizziness, and it used scary sound effects to create a tense atmosphere. Because of this graphic depiction, I remember the message clearly.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence and correct grammar (plural/singular and verb forms). Complete your final thought and use a linking phrase to explain why companies advertise in transport hubs. Avoid trailing off and give a specific result or example.

예시: Yes, I see many advertisements on trains and at stations. Companies place posters and digital ads in those busy locations because thousands of commuters pass through every day, so it helps increase brand awareness and sales.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then explain with contrasting points using linking words (e.g., "however"). Fix grammar (conditionals and countable/plural forms) and be concise. Provide a specific example of a good ad and one annoying situation.

예시: I have mixed feelings about advertisements. On one hand, a clever ad with a funny slogan can be very memorable; however, excessive ads on platforms like YouTube are annoying because they interrupt what I'm watching.

제안: Open with a direct statement and streamline your explanation. Use more precise vocabulary ("sports advertisements", "football celebrities" or "football players") and a linking phrase to explain why this strategy works. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: I prefer sports advertisements. Big brands like Nike or Adidas often hire famous football players who demonstrate their skills while wearing the shoes, which attracts fans and makes the product more appealing.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and correct phrasing (e.g., "I often see ads on social media and websites"). Use linking words to provide a specific example and explain why it annoys you, correcting grammar and word choice ("waste my time" not "wasting all my time").

예시: Yes, I often see ads on my phone and computer, especially on social media and websites. For example, when I try to look up a word on some sites, I must watch an ad before I can see the result, which is annoying because it wastes my time.

× Remember an anti drug commercial that launched by the government left a strong impression that can still recall the sins.

✓ I remember an anti-drug commercial launched by the government that left a strong impression and whose images I can still recall.

The original sentence lacks a subject ('I') and misuses verb forms ('launched by' is passive but sentence structure is unclear) and contains 'can still recall the sins' which is incorrect collocation and meaning. The corrected sentence adds the subject, uses a clear relative clause for the launched commercial, and replaces the incorrect phrase with 'whose images I can still recall' to convey memory. To improve, always include a subject, ensure relative clauses are attached to the correct noun, and use appropriate collocations for remembering (recall images/memories).

× For example, it conveyed the message of after taking drugs there would be hallucinations, feeling dizzy and with the sound effects of scary sounding.

✓ For example, it conveyed the message that after taking drugs there would be hallucinations and feelings of dizziness, with scary sound effects.

The original mixes clause structures and uses incorrect forms ('feeling dizzy' should be a noun phrase 'feelings of dizziness'; 'scary sounding' is incorrect order). The correction uses 'that' to introduce the reported content, pluralizes and nouns properly, and places 'with scary sound effects' correctly. Improve by keeping parallel structure in lists and using nouns for symptoms (nausea, dizziness) or gerunds consistently.

× There are lots of advertisement, especially in the train station as well as the bus stops.

✓ There are lots of advertisements, especially in train stations and at bus stops.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' when using 'lots of'. Prepositions and plural forms for locations were incorrect ('in the train station' -> 'in train stations' or 'at train stations'; 'the bus stops' -> 'bus stops'). To improve, match quantifiers with plural nouns and use correct prepositions for location (at bus stops, in stations).

× I believe that the company want to use the opportunity to promote in a public area where lots of people will walk by every day in order to increase the.

✓ I believe that companies want to use the opportunity to advertise in public areas where many people pass by every day in order to increase sales.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice problems: 'the company want' should be 'companies want' or 'the company wants'; sentence ended abruptly 'increase the.' Also 'promote in a public area' is vague; use 'advertise in public areas' and specify objective 'increase sales' or 'increase awareness'. Improve by ensuring subject and verb agree and completing the thought.

× If the creator had made an interesting commercial such as choosing funny slogan which definitely would be eye-catching.

✓ If the creator had made an interesting commercial, such as choosing a funny slogan, it would definitely have been eye-catching.

This is a mixed conditional/tense issue: the original uses 'had made' (past perfect) but lacks a correct main clause; 'which definitely would be eye-catching' is misplaced. The corrected sentence completes the conditional with proper past-perfect conditional result 'it would definitely have been eye-catching' and adds article 'a' before 'funny slogan.' Improve by matching conditional clauses (if + past perfect -> would have + past participle) and using articles.

× However, if there's too much of advertisement for example on YouTube, it would be bothering.

✓ However, if there are too many advertisements, for example on YouTube, they become annoying.

'Too much of advertisement' is ungrammatical; use 'too many advertisements' for countable nouns. 'It would be bothering' is awkward; use 'they become annoying' or 'it is bothersome.' Improve by choosing 'much' for uncountable nouns and 'many' for countable nouns, and using natural adjectives ('annoying').

× I prefer sport advertisement.

✓ I prefer sports advertisements.

'Sport advertisement' is nonstandard in English; plural 'sports advertisements' or 'sports advertising' is natural. Use the plural or the uncountable noun 'advertising' when speaking generally. Improve by using common collocations: 'sports ads' or 'sports advertising.'

× Big brands such as Nike or Adidas would always hire football celebrity to engage in their commercial, for example showing off their skills in order to promote their football shoes, which is a great strategy because it would be eye-catching.

✓ Big brands such as Nike or Adidas always hire football celebrities to appear in their commercials, for example showing off their skills to promote football shoes, which is a great strategy because it is eye-catching.

Issues: singular/plural consistency ('football celebrity' -> 'football celebrities'), verb form ('would always hire' -> 'always hire' for habitual action), noun forms ('commercial' -> 'commercials'). Pronoun 'their' is acceptable but maintain agreement. Also use 'appear in' rather than 'engage in.' Improve by using plural nouns for general statements and present simple for habitual actions.

× Definitely. I've always watched different advertisements on social media as well as the Google browser.

✓ Definitely. I always see different advertisements on social media and in my browser.

'I've always watched' suggests continuous perfect with 'watched' (odd collocation); 'watch' vs 'see'—ads are seen rather than watched. 'the Google browser' is unclear; use 'my browser' or 'Google Chrome.' Present simple 'I always see' is better for habitual actions. Improve by using present simple for habits and correct collocations (see ads, in a browser).

× For instance, when I search the meaning of the specific word in dictionary, I have to watch an advertisement in order to know the meaning of word and I find it annoying and wasting all my time.

✓ For instance, when I search for the meaning of a specific word in a dictionary, I sometimes have to watch an advertisement before seeing the definition, and I find it annoying and a waste of my time.

Errors: missing prepositions ('search for'), articles ('a specific word', 'a dictionary', 'the meaning of the word'), and awkward phrasing 'wasting all my time.' Use 'a waste of my time' and 'before seeing the definition.' Improve by checking prepositions and articles and using natural collocations for complaints about ads.