Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, and add one specific detail about why it was impressive. Use linking words to make the sequence clear.

예시: Yes. One advertisement that impressed me as a child was a UPS commercial showing a delivery truck colliding with a light pole and then another car. I remember it because the stunt was dramatic and the ad cleverly emphasized the company’s reliability by showing the driver calmly solving problems. As a result, the commercial stayed in my memory.

제안: Start with a direct answer, reduce repetition, and provide a specific example and reason using linking words. Mention a particular poster or campaign to be more concrete.

예시: Yes, I do. When I travel by train or bus I often see advertisements promoting tourism in China, such as posters showing famous landmarks. This makes sense because transport hubs reach many people, so tourism boards use them to attract visitors.

제안: Give a direct opinion first, then a complete, specific supporting example. Avoid sentence fragments and fillers; finish your example with a short reason why you like such adverts.

예시: I have mixed feelings about adverts; it depends on the products they promote. For instance, I appreciate detailed ads for dental healthcare because they explain services, costs and benefits clearly, so I can decide whether to book an appointment.

제안: Answer directly and provide a clear reason and one concrete example. Remove repeated words and fillers; use linking words to connect ideas and complete the thought about how you interact with printed ads.

예시: I generally prefer printed advertisements on trains or buses because they are easy to read while commuting. For example, I often notice seat-back ads that include QR codes linking to discounts, which makes it simple to learn about and try new products.

제안: Provide a concise direct answer, avoid filler words, and give specific platforms and types of ads with a brief comment on how they affect you. Use linking words to structure the response.

예시: Yes, I often see ads on my phone because many apps and platforms include them. For example, YouTube shows pre-roll ads and many free mobile games display banner or interstitial ads, which can be annoying but sometimes introduce useful products.

× Yes, I will.

✓ Yes, I will remember.

The original 'Yes, I will.' is awkward and incomplete as a response to 'Is there an advertisement that made an impression on you when you were a child?'. It uses future tense without an object. Adding 'remember' clarifies the intent to recall a memory and fits the conversational context. Use a verb after 'will' when forming future tense statements.

× Remember when I was a kid, I was watching a commercial on TV which is a commercial by UPS.

✓ When I was a kid, I watched a commercial on TV for UPS.

The sentence uses past continuous 'was watching' unnecessarily and is wordy ('which is a commercial by UPS'). Use simple past 'watched' for completed past events and a concise prepositional phrase 'for UPS'. This improves clarity and tense consistency.

× It was a commercial, uh, which demonstrated a truck moving forward and crashed into a light pole and moved backwards and crashed into another car.

✓ It showed a truck driving forward that crashed into a light pole, then reversing and crashing into another car.

Mixes participle forms and past tense awkwardly. Replace 'demonstrated' with 'showed' and use clear sequence: 'drove... crashed... reversed and crashed'. Keep past simple to describe past events and ensure parallel structure for actions.

× Yes, definitely when I was travelling on trains or buses, I always uh see the commercials uh on TV, which always will be advertisement about the tourism in China.

✓ Yes, definitely. When I travel on trains or buses, I always see commercials, which are usually advertisements for tourism in China.

Tense inconsistency: 'was travelling' (past) mixed with 'always see' (present). Use present simple 'travel' and 'see' for habitual actions. 'Which always will be advertisement' is incorrect; use 'are usually advertisements for' to express typical content. Also correct countable noun: 'advertisements'.

× I I think it is there because it wants to promote the tourism in China.

✓ I think they are there because they want to promote tourism in China.

Pronoun and number agreement: 'it' refers to 'commercials' (plural), so use 'they' and 'want'. Also 'promote the tourism' is unnatural; use 'promote tourism' without the definite article unless specifying a particular tourism.

× It's a good question.

✓ That's a good question.

Politeness/idiomatic phrasing: 'That's a good question' is the common conversational response. 'It's a good question' is not ungrammatical but 'That's' sounds more natural here; no tense change needed.

× I think it depends on the services it promotes.

✓ I think it depends on the services it promotes.

This sentence is acceptable as written. No correction needed except optional change 'what services it promotes' for clarity; however it matches the prompt, so we keep it.

× If the advertisement itself is very detailed and the uh, services or products it promotes are very helpful to me.

✓ If the advertisement is very detailed and the services or products it promotes are helpful to me, I like it.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a main clause. Add a main clause ('I like it') to complete the conditional sentence. Also remove filler words 'uh' and redundant 'itself' for clarity.

× For example, some dental healthcare services like.

✓ For example, I like some dental healthcare services.

Original is a fragment ending with 'like.' It lacks an object and has awkward structure. Provide a complete example by stating the preference: 'I like some dental healthcare services.' Alternatively, complete the sentence with 'like dental check-ups'.

× I would generally prefer to uh, see advertisement on trains or MTR, uh, particularly printed on the uh, train or the seats, uh, on the buses or train.

✓ I would generally prefer to see advertisements on trains or the MTR, particularly printed on trains or on bus seats.

Countable noun 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' when speaking generally. Use articles correctly: 'the MTR' and 'on trains' or 'on bus seats'. Remove repeated fillers and ensure consistent references (plural 'trains' and 'buses').

× So, uh, not only I can read about the advertisement or the products.

✓ So I can not only read about the advertisements or the products, but also learn more about them.

Sentence fragment and word order: 'not only I can' should be 'I can not only'. Also complete the parallel structure with 'but also' and make nouns plural 'advertisements' and 'products'. Provide a full idea rather than a fragment.

× I often see advertisement when I'm on my phone because, uh, there's lots of media that supports advertisement, uh, on smartphones, uh, such as YouTube applications and a lot of games supports uh, inserting advertisement in the game too.

✓ I often see advertisements when I'm on my phone because there are many media that support advertisements on smartphones, such as the YouTube app and many games that include ads.

Multiple issues: 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements'. Use 'there are' for plural 'lots of media'. Verb agreement: 'media that support' (not 'supports'). 'YouTube applications' is better as 'the YouTube app'. 'Games supports inserting advertisement' is incorrect; use 'many games that include ads' or 'many games that display ads'. Use gerunds/participles correctly and ensure subject-verb agreement.