Advertisement— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 答えを簡潔に始め、詳細は具体例や理由で補足しましょう。現在の答えは文法的誤りや語順の乱れ、意味が不明瞭な箇所が多いです。まず「Yes, there is.」の代わりに「Yes.」や「Yes, one that stands out is…」で始め、続けてどの広告か（例：テレビアニメのゲーム広告）を明確に述べてください。Supporting detailsでは、なぜ印象的だったか（色使い、キャラクター、音楽、友達との話題になった等）を具体的に2文程度で説明し、接続詞（because, so, for example）を使って論理的につなげましょう。文法と語順の改善（過去形の一貫使用、名詞句の修正）にも注意してください。

예시: Yes. One advertisement that really impressed me was for a TV animation tie-in video game. The ad was very colorful and had a catchy jingle, so all my friends started talking about it at school. Because the characters were cute and the game looked exciting, I begged my parents to buy it.

제안: 質問には肯定で始めていますが、文法誤り（robbed into the trainは不適切）や語句の選び方が問題です。まず簡潔に「Yes, I do.」と答え、その後で具体的な観察（例：電車内のポスター、ビジョン広告、ドア横の広告など）を1～2文で示しましょう。理由を述べる際は接続詞を使い、正確な語彙（reach passengers, effective way）を用いてください。例を挙げると説得力が増します。

예시: Yes, I do. In Japan trains are full of posters and digital screens advertising products and services. Because many people commute by train every day, companies use these ads to reach a large number of passengers quickly.

제안: 肯定で始めた後、なぜ好きかを明確に述べ、具体例や結果を加えてください。現在の答えは文法と表現が不自然で意味が伝わりにくいです。例えば、“I often rely on advertisements”と言うなら、どの種類の広告を参考にするのか（商品レビュー、セール情報、クーポン等）を示し、 because で理由をつなげましょう。回答は3～4文以内で完結に。

예시: Yes, I do. I often rely on advertisements to learn about new products and sales. For example, ads help me find discounts or compare features, so I can make better choices when shopping.

제안: 答えは個人的な好みを述べる必要がありますが、現在は構造が壊れており、伝えたいことが曖昧です。まず「I prefer…」で始め、どのタイプの広告が好きか（例えば一般的な広告、ユーモアのある広告、視覚的に美しい広告など）を明確に述べてください。続けて、ターゲット広告が嫌いな理由（privacy concerns, feeling watched）をbecauseで説明すると論理的です。短く具体的な例を入れると良いでしょう。

예시: I prefer general, light-hearted advertisements rather than targeted ads. Targeted ads make me feel uncomfortable because they seem to know too much about my online activity.

제안: 回答は頻度に関する質問なので、まず頻度を明確に答え（Yes, often / Yes, very often）その後理由と具体例を述べましょう。文法（preposition, word order）と語彙の選択を改善し、becauseやsoで理由をつなげてください。例えば、スマホで動画やSNSを長時間見るため広告が多いと具体的に述べると良いです。

예시: Yes, I see advertisements more often on my smartphone than on my computer. Because people spend much more time on mobile apps and social media, companies focus their ads on smartphones, so I encounter many in-feed and video ads.

× When I was a child, there are a lot of advertisements surrounding me.

✓ When I was a child, there were a lot of advertisements surrounding me.

The sentence mixes past time reference 'When I was a child' with present tense 'are'. Use past tense 'were' to match the time frame. Suggestion: make verb tense consistent with the time phrase (use past simple for past time expressions).

× The eyes about video games, games and figures and TV animation.

✓ They were about video games, toys, figures and TV animation.

Original lacks a clear subject and verb and uses 'eyes' incorrectly. Replace with 'They were' to form a complete clause and use correct nouns 'toys' instead of repeating 'games'. Suggestion: ensure each sentence has a subject and verb and use appropriate nouns.

× These fascinating advertisements offering.

✓ These were fascinating advertisements.

Phrase 'advertisements offering' is incomplete; 'offering' needs an object or a different structure. Using 'These were fascinating advertisements' completes the sentence. Suggestion: avoid dangling -ing forms without objects or auxiliary verbs.

× In Japan there are a lot of people who robbed into the train and the advertisements on train is considered as the effective way to reach the that products or services to the passengers and customers.

✓ In Japan there are a lot of people who crowd into trains, and advertisements on trains are considered an effective way to reach products or services to passengers and customers.

Multiple problems: 'robbed into the train' is wrong word choice; 'crowd into trains' fits meaning. Use plural 'trains' and plural verb 'are' to agree with plural subject 'advertisements'. Remove unnecessary 'the' before 'products'. Suggestion: choose correct verbs for actions (crowd), ensure subject-verb agreement, and use articles appropriately.

× the advertisements on train is considered as the effective way to reach the that products or services to the passengers and customers.

✓ Advertisements on trains are considered an effective way to reach products or services to passengers and customers.

Unnecessary 'the' before 'advertisements' and 'train', and 'the' before 'that products' is incorrect. Use plural 'trains' and omit 'the' when speaking generally. Suggestion: use articles correctly: omit the when speaking about things in general and use plural forms.

× I often rely on the advertisements.

✓ I often rely on advertisements.

'the advertisements' makes it too specific; though not a grammar error per se, removing 'the' is more natural in general statements. Present participle form is not needed. Suggestion: use zero article with plural nouns when speaking generally.

× I think advertisements I can consider efficiently in.

✓ I think I can consider advertisements efficiently when making choices.

Original word order is incorrect and preposition 'in' is misplaced. Reordering to 'I think I can consider advertisements efficiently when making choices' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: place subject and verb in natural order and include context ('when making choices').

× There are a lot of choices in my life.

✓ There are a lot of choices in my life.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Suggestion: none.

× For me, random advertisements suitable for me rather than targeted advertisements targeted and identified 1 is something I feel scared and I'm anxious because.

✓ For me, random advertisements that are suitable for me are better than targeted advertisements, which make me feel scared and anxious.

Original is ungrammatical and repetitive ('for me' repeated) and has misplaced fragments like 'identified 1'. Use relative clauses: 'random advertisements that are suitable for me' and 'which make me feel scared and anxious' to express contrast. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use clear clause structures to express cause and effect.

× I often see advertisements and smartphone rather than computer recently, what more people see much longer times on smartphones, so the company interested in advertisement in smartphones, there are a lot of great.

✓ Recently I often see advertisements on smartphones rather than on computers because more people spend much longer times on smartphones, so companies are interested in advertising on smartphones.

Multiple tense and structure issues: 'recently' requires present perfect or present simple with 'often' — present simple 'I often see' is acceptable with 'recently' as adverb but better reorder. Use preposition 'on' for devices. 'Companies are interested in advertising on smartphones' fixes verb agreement and noun usage. Remove fragment 'there are a lot of great'. Suggestion: break long sentence into clear clauses, use correct prepositions, and ensure subject-verb agreement.