Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ปรับประโยคให้ชัดเจนและเป็นธรรมชาติ ใช้ประธานและกริยาที่ถูกต้อง ลดการซ้ำซ้อน และจัดลำดับความคิดให้ชัดเจน เช่น เริ่มด้วยประโยคตอบตรงคำถาม แล้วตามด้วยรายละเอียดประกอบ ใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อเชื่อมประโยค ตัวอย่างข้อผิดพลาดที่ควรแก้: แก้ tense และใช้คำว่า "sometimes" ให้ถูกต้อง, ลบคำซ้ำ เช่น "I I" และเปลี่ยน "what is the just dream" เป็น "what is a dream"

예시: I sometimes remember my dreams, but not always. Often I wake up thinking I didn’t dream, while other times the dream feels very real. Sometimes different dreams merge together, so it’s hard for me to tell what was real and what was only a dream.

제안: ทำประโยคให้เป็นระบบมากขึ้น ตอบตรงคำถามก่อน แล้วให้รายละเอียดเสริมอย่างชัดเจน ใช้ลำดับเหตุการณ์และคำเชื่อม เช่น "when" และ "but" ให้ถูกต้อง แก้รูปแบบ tense และคำจำนวน (e.g. "one or two times") รวมถึงคำที่สะกดไม่ถูกต้อง (เช่น "dial")

예시: I sometimes share my dreams with friends. For example, when I was younger and shy I wrote some dreams down, but I’ve only told a friend about a dream once or twice.

제안: ตอบให้กระชับและมีโครงสร้าง: เริ่มด้วยประโยคชัดเจนว่าเชื่อไหม จากนั้นอธิบายเหตุผลโดยใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น "because" และให้รายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจง ลดเสียงติดอากาศ (uh) และแก้ไวยากรณ์ เช่น subject-verb agreement และวลีที่ชัดเจน (เช่น "my inner feelings")

예시: Yes, I believe dreams often have meaning because they reflect memories and emotions. For instance, stressful experiences sometimes appear in my dreams, showing how I feel about certain events.

제안: ตอบให้ชัดเจนโดยแยกความคิดเป็นสองส่วน: ความรู้สึกต่อนิมิตร้ายและนิมิตดี แก้คำและไวยากรณ์ เช่น "I don't" แทน "Don't actually" และใช้รูปแบบประโยคเต็ม ใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น "however" เพื่อเชื่อมความคิด และให้ตัวอย่างชัดเจนเกี่ยวกับความฝันที่ดี (เช่น ความสำเร็จ)

예시: Not all dreams—I wouldn’t want a bad nightmare to come true, for example I once dreamt I was being chased and I wouldn’t want that. However, I would like a positive dream about success to become real because it would mean I achieved my goals.

× I don't know exactly did I remember the theme because sometime when I feel I haven't a dream last night, sometime I would really live with the dream and sometime it stick together and I I can't divide what is real or what is the just dream.

✓ I don't know exactly if I remember the theme because sometimes I feel I didn't have a dream last night; sometimes I really live in the dream, and sometimes the dreams stick together so I can't tell what is real and what is just a dream.

The sentence contains multiple structural issues: incorrect word order for an embedded question ('did I remember' should be 'if I remember'), wrong tense and verb forms ('sometime' -> 'sometimes'; 'I haven't a dream last night' -> 'I didn't have a dream last night'), incorrect modal/auxiliary choices ('would really live with the dream' -> 'really live in the dream'), subject-verb agreement and pluralization ('it stick together' -> 'the dreams stick together'), and awkward phrasing ('what is the just dream' -> 'what is just a dream'). Suggestion: break long sentences into clauses, use correct tense consistency (past for 'last night'), use 'if' for indirect questions, use plural 'dreams' when referring to more than one, and choose appropriate prepositions ('live in a dream').

× When I was shy, I had tried to write my memory about the dream dial on the paper, but I don't exactly know where the paper is.

✓ When I was younger, I tried to write my memory of the dream down on paper, but I don't exactly know where the paper is.

Problems include wrong word choice ('shy' seems incorrect for intended meaning; 'younger' fits typical context), incorrect use of prepositions and particles ('write my memory about the dream dial' should be 'write my memory of the dream down' and 'on the paper' -> 'on paper'). Also tense simplification: use simple past 'tried' rather than past perfect 'had tried' when no earlier time reference exists. Suggestion: use 'write down' for recording memories and 'memory of' to link memory to its content.

× But I think I have shared my dream with my friend for like one or two time.

✓ But I think I have shared my dream with my friend once or twice.

Incorrect quantifier and plural: 'one or two time' should be 'once or twice' or 'one or two times'. Also 'my friend' is okay if referring to a single friend. Suggestion: use correct adverbial quantifiers for frequency ('once', 'twice', 'one or two times').

× For sure, I think that dream come from my uh, my inner brain come from my memory and they make thing up in my brain and show up in my dream so that have a meaning to my inner feeling what I'm feeling very.

✓ For sure, I think that dreams come from my inner mind and memories; they make things up in my brain and show up in my dreams, so they have meaning for my inner feelings.

Multiple tense and number errors: 'dream come' should be 'dreams come' (plural agreement) and 'they make thing up' -> 'they make things up'. Repetition 'come from my uh, my inner brain come from my memory' is redundant; simplify to 'come from my inner mind and memories'. 'So that have a meaning' needs subject agreement: 'so they have meaning'. 'What I'm feeling very' is ungrammatical; use 'my inner feelings' instead. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and use plural when referring to multiple dreams; simplify and clarify phrasing.

× Don't actually because, uh, one of my dream is I was chasing by other else.

✓ Not really, because one of my dreams was about being chased by someone else.

'Don't actually' is inappropriate modal/negation for answering; 'Not really' fits. 'One of my dream is I was chasing by other else' has several issues: noun number ('dreams'), tense ('was about being chased'), passive form and agent reference ('chased by someone else' rather than 'chasing by other else'). Suggestion: use passive gerund 'being chased' and correct agent expression 'someone else'.

× So that is a bad dream.

✓ So that was a bad dream.

Tense mismatch: speaker refers to a past dream, so use past tense 'was' rather than present 'is'. Suggestion: align tense with the time of the event being described.

× So I don't want that to come to.

✓ So I don't want that to come true.

Incorrect phrase 'come to' should be 'come true' when referring to a dream becoming reality. Suggestion: use the idiom 'come true' for dreams becoming reality.

× But if the team come to reality, I think sometime that's great because I have dream about my successful and.

✓ But if the dream came true, I think sometimes that's great because I have dreamed about my success.

Multiple issues: 'team' is a typo for 'dream'; verb tense and agreement ('come to reality' -> 'came true' or 'comes true' depending on conditional type), adverb placement ('sometime' -> 'sometimes'), noun forms ('I have dream about my successful' -> 'I have dreamed about my success' or 'I dream about being successful'). Suggestion: choose correct conditional form and use 'dreamed about my success' or 'dreamed of being successful' for clarity.