Relax— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and article use, reduce repetition, and give one specific detail about the gym (e.g. activities or atmosphere). Use linking words like 'also' or 'because' to connect ideas.

예시: Recently I've been going to a gym near my apartment to relax. I've been working out there for about two weeks, and I usually do weight training and cardio. I find exercising helps me unwind because it releases stress and improves my energy. Also, the gym's calm atmosphere makes it a pleasant place to clear my mind.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence, correct subject-verb agreement, avoid repetition, and add one specific example of how solitude helps you (e.g. thinking through plans or reading). Use a linking word such as 'because' to explain.

예시: I usually relax by myself at the moment because I live alone. For example, when I'm at the gym or at home I enjoy the quiet, which helps me reflect on my plans and solve problems. So being alone allows me to concentrate and recharge.

제안: Be more fluent and avoid filler words ('uh'). Use correct plural/singular forms, vary vocabulary, and give a specific reason and example of what music you listen to and how it relaxes you. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I find listening to music very relaxing. When I drive I usually play mellow acoustic or lo-fi tracks because they calm my mind and reduce stress. For instance, listening to soft piano music helps me unwind after a busy day.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence listing your main ways, avoid repetition and fillers, and provide one specific detail for each activity (what games, what gym routine, what music). Use linking words like 'first', 'also', 'finally' to structure the answer.

예시: I relax in three main ways: playing video games, working out at the gym, and listening to music. For example, I play Counter-Strike 2 for about an hour to focus my mind, I do 45-minute gym sessions with weights and cardio to relieve stress, and I listen to upbeat or chill playlists when I want to unwind quickly.

× I have work out in that place for for about half an month already.

✓ I have been working out at that place for about half a month already.

The original sentence uses incorrect verb forms and preposition. 'Have been working out' is the present perfect continuous needed to express an action that started in the recent past and continues to the present. Use 'working out' (verb + -ing) rather than 'work out' after 'have been'. Use 'at' for location of the gym and 'half a month' (not 'an month'). Suggestion: Use present perfect continuous for ongoing activities and correct preposition and article usage.

× I think is a good way for me to relax, to chill and besides that it helps me to build my body.

✓ I think it is a good way for me to relax and chill; besides, it helps me build my body.

The original sentence omits the subject 'it' after 'I think', causing a sentence structure error. 'To chill' should be coordinated with 'to relax' or expressed in parallel without 'to'. 'Besides' should be followed by a comma. 'Helps me build my body' is more natural than 'helps me to build my body.' Suggestion: Include the subject 'it' after 'I think' and keep parallel structure for verbs.

× I think this kind of silence do help me to reflect, to reflect something in my mind to think about.

✓ I think this kind of silence does help me reflect and think about things in my mind.

Subject 'this kind of silence' is singular, so verb should be 'does' not 'do' (third person singular). Also simplify and avoid repeating 'to reflect' and 'to think about'; use parallel verbs 'reflect and think about'. Suggestion: Ensure verb agrees with singular subject and make verb phrases parallel.

× I do all the things by myself and I feel great about it because I think this kind of silence do help me to reflect, to reflect something in my mind to think about.

✓ I do all the things by myself and I feel great about it because I think this kind of silence does help me reflect and think about things in my mind.

Pronoun usage 'it' is acceptable but the sentence repeats 'to reflect' unnecessarily; pronoun clarity improves by streamlining. Also contains third person singular error corrected to 'does'. Suggestion: Avoid redundant phrases and keep pronouns clear by simplifying clauses.

× it's one of my favorite way to relax.

✓ It's one of my favorite ways to relax.

'One of' requires a plural noun after it, so 'ways' (plural) is correct rather than 'way'. Suggestion: After 'one of', use a plural noun.

× I normally turn on the, uh, music player and uh, I really enjoy it.

✓ I normally turn on the music player, and I really enjoy it.

Remove unnecessary commas; 'turn on the music player' is correct preposition/verb collocation. The original had unnecessary filler and comma placement issues. Suggestion: Omit unnecessary filler words and punctuate simply.

× I have so many ways to cheer out, uh, for example, play, play video games like the counter strike two.

✓ I have so many ways to cheer up, for example, playing video games like Counter-Strike 2.

'Cheer out' is incorrect; the correct phrasal verb is 'cheer up'. After 'for example,' use a gerund 'playing' to list an activity. Game title capitalization and format adjusted. Suggestion: Use correct phrasal verbs and gerunds when listing activities.

× And uh, besides that workout in the gym is, is, uh, my go to choice actually.

✓ Besides that, working out at the gym is my go-to choice, actually.

'Workout' as a noun differs from 'working out' (gerund) needed here. Use 'working out' (verb + -ing) to describe the activity. Also include hyphens in 'go-to' and correct preposition 'at the gym'. Suggestion: Use gerund forms for activities and correct prepositions; ensure subject-verb structure is clear.

× And uh, I think the third choice is to listen to music is a.

✓ And I think the third choice is listening to music.

The original has redundant 'is' and a trailing 'a' making the sentence ungrammatical. Use 'listening to music' (gerund) as a noun phrase to name the choice. Suggestion: Remove redundant words and use gerunds to name options.