Relax— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and clear: state a recent place, correct verb tense, and give one or two concise supporting details. Use a topic sentence, then a linked detail with a reason or brief description. Avoid filler words and unclear time expressions.

예시: Recently, I went to the beach to relax during my holiday. I spent a few days walking along the shore and reading, which helped me unwind.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence naming who you relax with (use singular/plural consistently). Then add a specific supporting detail linked with a conjunction or phrase (for example, 'because' or 'for instance'). Correct word order and vocabulary: 'sometimes', 'try new things', 'take photos at cafés'.

예시: I usually relax with my friends. For example, sometimes we try new activities together, like visiting a new café and taking photos, which is fun and relaxing.

제안: Answer directly, then give a specific reason or example. Use correct grammar for phrases like 'after work' and 'listening to pop music helps me relax and feel comfortable.' Use linking words such as 'because' or 'for example' to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I do. Listening to music helps me relax because after work I like to listen to pop music, which calms me and improves my mood.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence listing one or two relaxation activities, then add a brief specific detail about each using linking words like 'and' or 'or'. Correct verb forms: 'I listen', 'after I start', 'cook healthy food'. Keep it concise (no more than five sentences).

예시: To relax, I usually listen to music and cook healthy food. For instance, I put on soft pop or acoustic songs while preparing a simple meal, which helps me unwind.

× Umm, 3 year, uh, three days ago I go to the beach for relaxing on my holiday and spend.

✓ Umm, three days ago I went to the beach to relax during my holiday and spent time there.

The sentence refers to a past time 'three days ago' so past tense verbs are required. 'go' should be 'went' and 'for relaxing' is unnatural; use the infinitive 'to relax'. Also 'spend' should be past tense 'spent'. Suggestion: use past simple for completed actions at a specific past time and prefer 'to relax' or 'to relax and spend time' for clarity.

× I usually relax with my friend. Uh, sometime I like to go out with friends to try in new, to try new this long and take photo at cafe.

✓ I usually relax with my friends. Sometimes I like to go out with friends to try new things and take photos at cafes.

'My friend' implies a single person but context suggests plural 'friends'; 'usually' collocates with plural. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'try in new, to try new this long' is incorrect; use 'try new things'. 'take photo' should be plural 'take photos' and 'at cafe' needs the plural or article: 'at cafes' or 'at a cafe'. Suggestion: use correct plural forms and common collocations: 'try new things', 'take photos', 'sometimes'.

× Yes I do. I think listen to music is relaxing. Uh, when I stay from work, I like listening to pop music is tell me relax and comfortable.

✓ Yes, I do. I think listening to music is relaxing. After I finish work, I like listening to pop music because it makes me feel relaxed and comfortable.

Use gerund 'listening' after 'think' or rephrase to 'I think listening to music...'. 'When I stay from work' is incorrect; use 'after I finish work'. 'is tell me relax' is ungrammatical—use 'because it makes me feel relaxed'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms: gerunds for activities, and 'make/makes someone feel' to express effect.

× Uh, actually I you listening to music to relax after when I stared or cooking healthy food.

✓ Uh, actually I listen to music to relax, or I start cooking healthy food.

The original has several structural problems: extra pronoun 'you', incorrect verb forms 'stared' instead of 'start' or 'started', and awkward sequencing 'after when'. Decide on a simple structure: 'I listen to music to relax' and 'I start cooking healthy food' (present simple for habitual actions). If referring to past, use past tense consistently. Suggestion: remove extraneous words, use correct verb forms and parallel structure for the two activities.