Internet— Part 1 채점 보고서
대화
Part 1
시험관
When did you start using the internet?
수험생
If I'm not mistaken, I started using the Internet when I was around 4 years old. At that time, my parents used to let me watch videos of toys and dolls on YouTube as well as children's songs. I think that was probably my first exposure to the online world.
시험관
How often do you go online?
수험생
I go online every single day. The three apps I use the most are Tiktok, YouTube, and Facebook. I mainly use Tiktok for entertainment and keeping up with the latest news, while I use YouTube to listen to music and study. As for Facebook, I use it to stay connected with my friends and relatives, see what they are up to, and send messages.
시험관
Can you remember a time you weren’t allowed to use the internet?
수험생
Yes, I can. It was probably when I was in first grade I got caught by my mother using the Internet to copy answers from my homework, so she punished me by not letting me go online for a whole day. Looking back, I think it was a good lesson because I learned that I shouldn't rely too much on the Internet.
시험관
Do you think you spend too much time online?
수험생
Yes I do. However I find it really difficult to cut down on my screen time because my phone can basically satisfy most of my needs from entertainment to studying and communication. Besides, without my phone I would probably get bored really quickly.
시험관
What would you do without the internet?
수험생
I'll probably spend more time with my relatives because I live with my uncles. If they were busy I guess I would just sleep. I think sleeping is actually a good way to pass the time because it helps me recharge and gives me more energy afterwards.
평가
총점
Part 1
When did you start using the internet?
점수: 88.0제안: Câu trả lời tự nhiên và rõ ràng, có câu chủ đề và chi tiết hỗ trợ; tuy nhiên có thể rút gọn nhẹ để tránh lặp từ và thêm một liên kết nhỏ để câu mạch lạc hơn. Hãy thay cụm “At that time” bằng “Back then” hoặc thêm liên từ như “so” để kết nối ý.
예시: I started using the internet when I was about four years old. Back then, my parents let me watch toy videos and children's songs on YouTube, so that was my first exposure to the online world.
How often do you go online?
점수: 92.0제안: Rất tốt: trả lời trực tiếp, chi tiết cụ thể và dùng liên từ để phân chia mục đích ứng dụng. Chỉ cần chú ý tránh liệt kê quá dài; có thể tóm tắt một chút để giữ trong 3–4 câu và dùng từ vựng đa dạng hơn (e.g., 'keep up with current events' thay vì 'latest news').
예시: I go online every day. The apps I use most are TikTok, YouTube and Facebook: I use TikTok mainly for entertainment and to keep up with current events, YouTube for music and studying, and Facebook to stay in touch with friends and family.
Can you remember a time you weren’t allowed to use the internet?
점수: 90.0제안: Câu trả lời có cấu trúc tốt và phản ánh quan điểm; cần chia câu dài thành hai câu ngắn hơn để rõ ràng hơn, và thêm liên từ hoặc dấu phẩy để tránh run-on sentence. Bạn cũng có thể đưa ra một ví dụ ngắn về điều đã học được.
예시: Yes. When I was in first grade my mother caught me using the internet to copy homework answers, so she banned me from going online for a whole day. Looking back, that taught me not to rely on the internet and to try doing my own work.
Do you think you spend too much time online?
점수: 87.0제안: Ý tưởng rõ nhưng câu hơi dài và lặp. Hãy tách thành câu ngắn, dùng liên từ như 'because' và thay 'basically satisfy most of my needs' bằng cụm chính xác hơn ('meets most of my needs'). Có thể nêu một hành động cụ thể bạn có thể thử để giảm thời gian online.
예시: Yes, I think I do. It's hard to cut down because my phone meets most of my needs—entertainment, study and communication. Without it I'd get bored, so I'm trying simple steps like scheduling phone-free times each day.
What would you do without the internet?
점수: 85.0제안: Câu trả lời tự nhiên nhưng hơi thiếu sáng tạo và có câu lặp 'I think'. Nên kết hợp và rút gọn câu, thêm một hoạt động cụ thể khác (ví dụ đọc sách, chơi thể thao) để câu phong phú hơn và dùng liên từ như 'otherwise' để liên kết ý thứ hai.
예시: Without the internet I would spend more time with my relatives since I live with my uncles. Otherwise, if they're busy, I would probably read a book or take a nap to recharge.
문법
× It was probably when I was in first grade I got caught by my mother using the Internet to copy answers from my homework, so she punished me by not letting me go online for a whole day.
✓ It was probably when I was in first grade that I got caught by my mother using the Internet to copy answers from my homework, so she punished me by not letting me go online for a whole day.
The original sentence is a complex past-time clause that needs the conjunction 'that' (or a pause/comma) after 'first grade' to correctly link the time clause with the main clause. Adding 'that' clarifies the structure and makes the past-tense narrative grammatically correct and easier to understand.
× I'll probably spend more time with my relatives because I live with my uncles.
✓ I would probably spend more time with my relatives because I live with my uncles.
In this hypothetical response to 'What would you do without the internet?', the conditional form 'would' is appropriate. Using 'I'll' (I will) expresses a definite future action rather than a hypothetical result; 'would' correctly matches the conditional context.
× If they were busy I guess I would just sleep.
✓ If they were busy, I guess I would just sleep.
The main issue is punctuation: a comma after the conditional clause improves clarity. Also, 'would' is correctly used for the hypothetical. Adding the comma follows standard conditional sentence punctuation, making the sentence clearer and grammatically correct.
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