Science— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (e.g., "actually", repeated "very"), and use one or two supporting details with linking words. Also correct collocation errors ("indulging it" → "enjoying it" or "becoming more interested").

예시: Yes — I enjoy science. I study a science and mathematics program, so I learn a lot and the more I learn, the more interested I become; there are many topics I still want to explore.

제안: Give a direct time reference first, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid vague phrasing and tense mistakes ("as soon as I can read" → "as soon as I could read"). Remove filler words.

예시: I began learning science in primary school, around first grade. Before that I picked up basic ideas at home, but formal lessons started in school.

제안: Good content and contrast. Improve naturalness by using smoother linking language, reduce repetition, and choose better verbs ("memorize" could be "understand" or "apply"). Keep to two to three sentences.

예시: I like chemistry most because it combines mathematical problem-solving with theoretical concepts I can apply in experiments. I also find biology fascinating because it explains how living systems and the human body function.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence, specific details about the experiment and its result, and use correct grammar ("being able to prove theoretical analysis" → "I was able to test a theory"). Remove fillers and give a short result or feeling.

예시: My most memorable experience was a chemistry lab I did about five months ago. I tested a reaction to confirm a theoretical prediction, and seeing the expected result was exciting and helped me understand the theory better.

제안: Start with a concise yes/no response, then name one or two programs and briefly explain why you like them. Avoid hesitation sounds and unclear program descriptions; focus on why they interest you.

예시: Yes, I enjoy science TV programs. For example, I like Genwid because it showcases student experiments and creativity, and The Bone is interesting because it explores medical skills and case studies.

제안: Give a clear direct answer, then support with a specific reason and an example. Remove hesitations and repetitive phrases, and correct phrasing ("gives educational experience" → "provides a valuable educational experience").

예시: Yes, they do, especially on school trips; most schools organize visits to science museums. These museums, which often feature astronomy and biology exhibits, provide students with hands-on and informative learning opportunities.

× the more I'm indulging it

✓ the more I enjoy it

'Indulge' with 'in' or 'oneself' is not used in progressive form here; 'indulging it' is unnatural. Use 'enjoy' to express increasing enjoyment. Also 'the more I enjoy it' matches the comparative structure.

× I started to learn it as soon as I can read, as soon as I have the knowledge to understand

✓ I started to learn it as soon as I could read, as soon as I had the knowledge to understand

The clause refers to past time ('started'), so the subordinate verbs should be in past tense (could, had) for sequence of tenses. Using present tense 'can/have' is inconsistent. Change to past modal 'could' and past 'had'.

× if I could recall it would be primary school about first grade

✓ if I could recall, it would be primary school, about first grade

Punctuation and word order: insert comma after 'recall' and before the explanatory phrase. The tense/modal 'could' with 'would be' is acceptable for hypothetical recall. Main issue was sentence clarity and punctuation rather than verb form; adjustment keeps tense consistent.

× And now I am learning.

✓ And now I am studying it

Vague 'learning' is acceptable but 'studying it' fits question context (formal program) and keeps present continuous for ongoing action. This corrects word choice rather than strict tense error.

× it has both mathematics and computation, as well as theories that I have to memorize

✓ it involves both mathematics and computation, as well as theories that I have to memorize

Use of 'has' is slightly off when referring to a subject; 'involves' or 'includes' is more appropriate collocation. This improves word choice and accuracy.

× another subject that is interesting is biology, because there's a lot to learn about life and animals and our body

✓ another subject I find interesting is biology, because there's a lot to learn about life, animals, and the human body

Replace passive 'that is interesting' with active 'I find interesting' to match speaker perspective. Also 'our body' is better as 'the human body' for clarity and correctness. Commas improve list clarity.

× I came in contact with the chemicals and being able to prove, uh, theoretical analysis

✓ I came into contact with chemicals and was able to perform theoretical analyses

Use 'came into contact' (preposition fix) and past passive/active 'was able to' for past time. 'Being able to prove' is incorrect structure; use 'was able to perform' or 'apply' and plural 'analyses' for countable 'theoretical analyses'.

× I came in contact with the chemicals

✓ I came into contact with chemicals

Correct preposition is 'into contact' not 'in contact' when describing encountering something. Also omit 'the' unless referring to specific known chemicals.

× I think yes, umm, especially when they are having a school trip, umm, most schools would bring students to a museum and there are a lot of science museums such as umm, umm, science involving astronomy and biology

✓ I think so, especially when there is a school trip; most schools take students to museums, and there are many science museums, such as those about astronomy and biology

Use 'so' instead of 'yes' for this structure; 'when there is a school trip' is better than 'when they are having'. Replace conditional 'would bring' with simple present 'take' to describe habitual actions. Simplify and correct noun phrases ('many' instead of 'a lot of', 'museums about astronomy and biology').

× I think it gives educational experience

✓ I think it provides an educational experience

Use indefinite article 'an' with singular countable 'experience' and 'provides' is a more natural verb. 'Gives educational experience' is ungrammatical; add article and adjust verb.