Science— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and hesitations, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Use correct grammar (e.g., "because" not "'cause") and simpler accurate vocabulary.

예시: I don't enjoy science very much because I find its concepts difficult to understand. For example, biology involves a lot of detailed terms and calculations, which I struggle with, so I prefer subjects that feel more straightforward.

제안: Answer directly with a clear time reference, use correct tense, and provide one specific detail. Avoid repetition and fillers.

예시: I started learning science when I entered middle school. At that time, science became a mandatory subject and I studied biology, chemistry and physics.

제안: Begin with a concise topic sentence and support it with specific examples. Use linking words like "because" and "for example", and avoid repetition. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "everyday life" not "Billy daily life").

예시: Biology interests me the most because it relates closely to everyday life. For example, it helps me understand ecosystems, insects, plants and how weather affects the environment.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and give specific details about the project, using linking words to explain purpose and result. Fix small grammar issues (e.g., "I conducted a field study" rather than "I did a field research").

예시: I completed a science project where I conducted a field study counting insects in a local park. I collected data over two weeks to see which species were most common and then analyzed the results to draw conclusions about habitat preferences.

제안: Choose a clearer, less extreme verb than "hate" and give concise reasons. Remove contradictory statements and avoid repetition. Use linking words to structure reasons (e.g., "because" and "although").

예시: I don't usually watch science TV programs because I find them hard to follow and sometimes too technical. Although some shows are engaging, many focus on complex academic details that I find boring.

제안: Provide a direct answer and support it with specific examples and correct vocabulary. Avoid hesitation and unclear words ("excavation" fits archaeological contexts; explain how museums are used).

예시: I think many Chinese people visit science museums, especially families and students. For example, museums like natural history or dinosaur exhibitions are popular destinations for school trips and weekend visits.

× I don't really like science 'cause it's very complicated to understand the uh, concepts of any kind of science.

✓ I don't really like science because it's very complicated to understand the concepts of any kind of science.

The contracted informal 'cause is a colloquial conjunction; replace with 'because' for formal grammar. Remove filler 'the uh,' and extra commas for clarity. Suggestion: use 'because' and avoid fillers to make the sentence clearer.

× For example, like biology is needed to do uh, complicates, uh, calculate.

✓ For example, biology requires complicated calculations.

Original misuses word forms and has unnecessary fillers. 'Is needed to do complicates calculate' is ungrammatical. Use 'requires' + noun phrase 'complicated calculations'. Suggestion: use 'requires' for necessity and 'complicated' as adjective modifying 'calculations'.

× It's hard to me.

✓ It's hard for me.

Preposition 'to' is incorrect with 'hard' in this context; correct collocation is 'hard for someone'. Suggestion: use 'for me' after 'hard'.

× When I get got into middle school, I started to learn science as a subject.

✓ When I got into middle school, I started to learn science as a subject.

Redundant and incorrect 'get got' mixes present and past forms. Use simple past 'got' to match 'started'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense 'got'.

× I took mandatory subjects of science.

✓ I took mandatory science subjects.

Word order and article usage awkward; 'mandatory science subjects' is natural without 'of'. Suggestion: place adjective before noun.

× 3 science subjects, Biology.

✓ Three science subjects, including biology.

Numeral '3' should be written out in formal speech and the structure needs a connector; also 'biology' should be linked as an example. Suggestion: say 'three science subjects, including biology'.

× For me, biology is interesting for me because it's connected to the nature or Billy daily life things, for example, like weather or green environments, insects, flower or something like that.

✓ For me, biology is interesting because it's connected to nature and everyday life, for example weather, plants, insects, and flowers.

Avoid repeating 'for me'. 'the nature' is incorrect article use; 'everyday life' is better than 'Billy daily life'. Use parallel list and correct plurals ('plants', 'flowers'). Remove filler 'or something like that'. Suggestion: simplify and use parallel structure.

× It's kind of like an.

✓ It's kind of like that.

Sentence fragment 'an' is incomplete. 'That' completes the idea. Suggestion: finish the comparison or remove fragment.

× I have done statistics, a project of science.

✓ I did a statistics project.

Use simple past 'did' for completed past actions with a specific time. 'A project of science' is awkward; 'a statistics project' is natural. Suggestion: use 'did' and correct noun phrase order.

× I counted the number of insects as a collected data and I did a field research.

✓ I counted the number of insects as collected data and I did field research.

'A collected data' is wrong because 'data' is uncountable; remove article. 'A field research' is uncountable; use 'did field research' or 'conducted field research'. Suggestion: use 'collected data' and 'conducted field research'.

× I hate watching TV program because it's easy.

✓ I hate watching TV programs because they're not easy.

Original contradicts follow-up; student likely means 'not easy'. Also 'TV program' should be plural 'TV programs' and use 'they're'. Suggestion: ensure consistency and correct number/agreement.

× It's not easy to understand and I it's kind of like boring thing for me.

✓ They're not easy to understand and I find them kind of boring.

Replace 'It' with plural 'they' to agree with 'TV programs'. Remove extra 'I' and use 'find them' to express opinion. 'Boring thing' is awkward; use 'boring'. Suggestion: match pronouns and use 'find' for opinions.

× And the content is something so sometimes so complicated and so academic things.

✓ The content is sometimes very complicated and quite academic.

Original has redundant 'so' and 'things'. Use adverbs 'sometimes' and 'very' and 'quite academic' as adjective phrase. Suggestion: remove fillers and use concise modifiers.

× I think so. There are many kind of Science Museum, for example, like Jurassic Science Museum, Nature Science Museum.

✓ I think so. There are many kinds of science museums, for example the Jurassic Science Museum and the Natural Science Museum.

Use plural 'kinds' and 'museums'. Capitalization: 'science' not necessarily capitalized. Use 'the' for specific names and correct name 'Natural Science Museum'. Suggestion: pluralize and use proper names.

× It's it, it is used as a destination of exca excavation.

✓ They are used as destinations for excursions and field trips.

Awkward repetition 'It's it, it is' and wrong word 'exca excavation'. Museums are 'used as destinations' (plural) and common collocations are 'excursions' or 'field trips'. Suggestion: use plural forms and correct vocabulary 'excursions'.