Sharing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện: Nói rõ ràng, ngắn gọn theo cấu trúc: topic sentence + 1-2 chi tiết hỗ trợ. Tránh tiếng ồ/ìm và lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: "an unspoken rule", "considerate"). Sử dụng liên từ để liên kết ý (e.g., "but", "for example"). Cụ thể hơn về ví dụ hồi nhỏ để tăng tính thuyết phục.

예시: I don't clearly remember formal lessons, but sharing was encouraged at home as an unspoken rule. For example, my parents always reminded me to be considerate and offer snacks to siblings, although portions weren't always equal.

제안: Cải thiện: Trả lời trực tiếp với câu chủ đề rõ ràng, dùng từ vựng chính xác (e.g., "depends", "personal items"). Giảm lặp từ, sửa ngữ pháp và giới hạn 2–3 câu. Thêm ví dụ cụ thể về vật sẽ chia và vì sao.

예시: It depends on the item and my mood: I usually share food or books, but I don't share personal items like my phone or diary. For instance, I might lend a novel to a friend but never my headphones.

제안: Cải thiện: Trả lời ngắn gọn với cấu trúc rõ ràng và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc. Sửa lỗi lặp và ngữ pháp (e.g., "how closely I'm connected to it"). Thêm 1-2 ví dụ cụ thể mô tả lý do không chia sẻ (giá trị tình cảm, vệ sinh, v.v.).

예시: I wouldn't share items that have strong sentimental value or affect hygiene. For example, I would lend a novel but not a wristwatch given by my grandmother, because it's irreplaceable.

제안: Cải thiện: Nói ngắn gọn, tránh từ ngữ lặp và tiếng ngập ngừng. Dùng linking word như "because" hoặc "for example" để liên kết lý do. Thêm một ví dụ cụ thể về lần gần đây chia đồ ăn để tạo cảm giác thực tế.

예시: Recently I shared food and drinks with friends because meals are more enjoyable together and encourage conversation. For example, last weekend I brought homemade dumplings to a dinner and we talked about our week.

제안: Cải thiện: Mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (ví dụ "I'd share good news with my closest friend"). Hạn chế nói mơ hồ ("any of my friends") và bổ sung lý do cụ thể. Giữ 2–3 câu và tránh lặp cấu trúc.

예시: I'd usually share good news with my closest friend because we understand each other well. For instance, I prefer to tell them over a meal so we can celebrate and talk about how it happened.

제안: Cải thiện: Trả lời trực tiếp với từ vựng chính xác (e.g., "animal memes", "funny videos"). Loại bỏ lặp và tiếng ngập ngừng. Thêm 1 ví dụ cụ thể, nêu lý do tại sao chia sẻ giúp mối quan hệ.

예시: We mostly share funny animal memes and short video clips because we both love cats and dogs. For example, when I find a hilarious cat video, I send it to my friend to cheer them up and make us both laugh.

× I don't remember it, my parents talked to me about sharing things, but I guess it's a unspoken rules in my home.

✓ I don't remember it; my parents talked to me about sharing things, but I guess it's an unspoken rule in my home.

The noun 'rules' is plural while the article 'a' requires a singular noun. Use singular 'rule' with 'a'. Also use a semicolon or period to separate independent clauses for clarity.

× Uh, you have to be considerable for other people, but it's not like uh, everyone get the same amount of food or candy.

✓ Uh, you have to be considerate towards other people, but it's not like, uh, everyone gets the same amount of food or candy.

Use the adjective 'considerate' (not 'considerable') to describe a person's behavior and the preposition 'towards' or 'to'. Also subject-verb agreement: 'everyone' is singular so use 'gets'.

× I guess I don't have the kinds of things that I would like to share with people.

✓ I guess I don't have the kind of things that I would like to share with people.

Use 'kind' singular with 'the' when referring to a general category. Alternatively, 'kinds of things' would require plural context. Here singular is more natural.

× It's depend on my mood.

✓ It depends on my mood.

Subject-verb agreement in present simple: 'it' requires 'depends' with an -s.

× Like if that thing is what I consider is personal, I don't want to share it with other.

✓ Like if that thing is what I consider personal, I don't want to share it with others.

Remove unnecessary 'is' after 'consider' and use plural pronoun 'others' for people in general.

× But if I feel comfortable I might give it to my friends or family's member, it's OK.

✓ But if I feel comfortable I might give it to my friends or a family member, it's OK.

Use 'a family member' (singular) or 'family members' (plural). 'Family's member' is incorrect possessive form.

× I guess that we have to consider how how closely I connected with that thing.

✓ I guess that we have to consider how closely I am connected with that thing.

Use present simple passive/adjacent form 'am connected' to express current state; remove repeated 'how'.

× Like if it's a book, I can lend you that book, but if something that I treasure or a gift from an important person that I don't want anyone to touch it.

✓ Like if it's a book, I can lend you that book, but if it's something that I treasure, or a gift from an important person, I don't want anyone to touch it.

Sentence needed 'it's' to introduce the second clause and commas for clarity; remove extra 'that' before 'I don't want anyone to touch it' or restructure to avoid redundancy.

× So it depends on what kinds of thing and how.

✓ So it depends on what kinds of things they are and how.

Use plural 'things' with 'kinds of' and clarify with 'they are' to complete the clause.

× I guess that food and drinks are most common thing we usually share because it would be a lot more fun to eat with someone to love and it makes you feel more, uh, connected to them and you can talk about your daily life when having dinner together.

✓ I guess that food and drinks are the most common things we usually share because it is a lot more fun to eat with someone you love; it makes you feel more connected to them and you can talk about your daily life when having dinner together.

Use definite article 'the' with 'most common', plural 'things' to match 'food and drinks', 'someone you love' (not 'to love'), and split sentence for clarity. Use 'it is' instead of 'it would be' for general truth.

× I guess that any of my friends, I would love to sit with them and have a lovely meal together while talking about our experience recently.

✓ I guess any of my friends; I would love to sit with them and have a lovely meal together while talking about our recent experiences.

Remove 'that' after 'I guess' and use plural 'experiences' or 'our recent experience' for consistency; semicolon improves clause separation.

× It's a good moment for us to bond and to know each other better.

✓ It's a good opportunity for us to bond and to get to know each other better.

'Get to know' is the natural collocation; 'moment' is acceptable but 'opportunity' is more appropriate. Tense is fine.

× We usually share animals memes online, we we know that we both love uh, small animals like cats and dogs, and we usually found some hilarious umm, video clip and memes and sent it to each other, make each other laughed and we both feel relaxed.

✓ We usually share animal memes online; we know that we both love small animals like cats and dogs, and we usually find some hilarious video clips and memes and send them to each other, which makes each other laugh and helps us both feel relaxed.

Use 'animal memes' (singular noun as adjective), remove duplicate 'we', use present simple 'find' and 'send' for habitual actions, plural 'video clips', use 'send them' (plural pronoun), and correct verb forms 'makes each other laugh' and 'helps us feel relaxed'.