Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer directly, then give one or two specific details. Avoid repeating “I had,” and use “ride a bike” rather than “drive” when talking about cycling. Also, say “one of my favorite things” and make the reason clearer; for example, explain that you rode with your father or friends.

예시: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I often rode it with my dad when we explored the nearby forest. I also enjoyed cycling around with my friends after school.

제안: Start with a clear response, such as “Yes, bikes are popular in my country.” Replace “I definitely claim” with a more natural phrase like “I’d say,” and use “a common form of transportation” instead of “the most vital transportation.” Correct “writing their bikes” to “riding their bikes,” and avoid repeating your conclusion. Add a specific reason or observation to support your answer.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. I often see people riding them on the streets, especially in the city center. They’re a convenient and affordable way to get around, particularly for short trips.

× Of course I had I had a bike in my childhood as a majority of children because this is one of the favorite thing in my childhood as well.

✓ Of course, I had a bike in my childhood, like most children, because it was one of my favorite things from that time as well.

Use the plural noun things after one of because this construction refers to one item from a group. Use was rather than is because the sentence describes the speaker’s childhood, a completed period in the past. The phrase like most children is a clear way to express the comparison.

× I definitely claim that bikes, this is a transportation that is the most vital in my country since when I go outside, for example, me with my friends are walking around the streets and I see a lot of people writing their bikes.

✓ I definitely claim that bikes are a type of transportation that is the most vital in my country. When I go outside, for example, my friends and I are walking around the streets, and I see a lot of people writing their bikes.

Bikes, this is creates two competing sentence structures joined with a comma. Make bikes the subject of the clause and use are to link it to its description. Splitting the long sentence also makes its clauses easier to follow.

× I definitely claim that bikes, this is a transportation that is the most vital in my country since when I go outside, for example, me with my friends are walking around the streets and I see a lot of people writing their bikes.

✓ I definitely claim that bikes are a type of transportation that is the most vital in my country. When I go outside, for example, my friends and I are walking around the streets, and I see a lot of people writing their bikes.

Use the subject pronoun I, not the object pronoun me, as part of the subject of the verb phrase are walking. In a coordinated subject, my friends and I is the standard form.

× I definitely claim that bikes, this is a transportation that is the most vital in my country since when I go outside, for example, me with my friends are walking around the streets and I see a lot of people writing their bikes.

✓ I definitely claim that bikes are a type of transportation that is the most vital in my country because when I go outside, for example, my friends and I are walking around the streets, and I see a lot of people writing their bikes.

Since when is not appropriate in this sentence because since introduces a reason or a starting point in time, while when introduces the situation being described. Use because when to introduce the reason for the claim.