Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer directly, then give your childhood example. Avoid the repeated and incomplete phrase “I really and I used to really like it”; say “I really liked it” or “I used to love riding it.” Use “when” rather than “that” in “one day when my brother wanted to borrow it.”

예시: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and I loved riding it. I remember getting upset one day when my brother wanted to borrow it because I wanted to keep it all to myself.

제안: Give a clear, concise answer and support it with a specific reason or observation. Avoid the wordy phrases “that is something that it is” and “on the grounds that,” and reduce repetition such as “very, very.” Keep subject–verb agreement consistent: bikes “are” good for health and “give” people independence.

예시: No, I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country. It’s a shame because cycling is good for people’s health and gives them more independence. In my area, for example, many people rely on cars or public transport instead.

× I really and I used to really like it.

✓ I really used to like it.

The original sentence combines two incompatible constructions: I really and I used to. Remove the extra I really so the sentence has a clear, grammatical structure.

× For example, one day that my brother wanted to borrow it, I was crying all day because I only wanted it for myself.

✓ For example, one day when my brother wanted to borrow it, I was crying all day because I only wanted it for myself.

Use when to introduce the time clause describing the day. That does not correctly express the time relationship here.

× As far as I'm concerned, no they are not and that is something that it is very, very disappointing for me on the grounds that I believe bikes are so good for the health and it gives you a strong feeling of independence.

✓ As far as I'm concerned, no, they are not, and that is something that is very, very disappointing for me on the grounds that I believe bikes are so good for your health and they give you a strong feeling of independence.

In the phrase that it is very disappointing, it is redundant because that already introduces the clause with is. Also, bikes is plural, so use they give rather than it gives. Use your health for the natural expression referring to a person's health.

× I believe bikes are so good for the health.

✓ I believe bikes are so good for your health.

The definite article the is not normally used in this expression. Say good for your health when referring generally to the health of people.