Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer directly, then add one or two clear details about the bike or when you rode it. Use “as far as I can remember,” “it was red,” and “ride” rather than “write.” The phrase “training wheels” is more natural than “helping wheels.” Avoid repeating words and keep the answer to a few well-linked sentences.

예시: Yes, I had a red bike when I was a child. As far as I can remember, it had a textured seat and training wheels. I often rode it around my neighborhood with my friends, especially in the afternoon.

제안: Your answer gives relevant reasons, but the phrasing is awkward and the sentence is too long. Say “rising fuel prices” instead of “the reason of fuel rise,” and explain that bikes are convenient for short trips in busy traffic. Use a linking word such as “also” to connect your reasons.

예시: Yes, bikes have become more popular in my country in recent years. Rising fuel prices are one reason, and bikes are also convenient for short trips because they can help people avoid traffic.

× as long as I remember

✓ as far as I remember

As long as usually refers to a duration or condition. Use as far as I remember to introduce what you can recall.

× it was red color

✓ it was red in color

Use the preposition in in the phrase in color. A more concise option is simply it was red.

× during the during afternoon was my peak time of riding them

✓ The afternoon was my peak time for riding it.

The original phrase repeats during and does not form a clear sentence. Make the afternoon the subject, and use it to refer to the singular bike.

× fuel rise in the world and our country as well

✓ the rise in fuel prices around the world and in our country as well

Fuel prices refers to multiple prices, so prices should be plural. The noun rise also needs the article the in this phrase.

× it's more convenient to ride on bikes due to the traffic issues to go and travel nearby

✓ it is more convenient to ride bikes when traveling nearby because of traffic issues

The original ending combines ideas without a clear grammatical connection. The revised version links the convenience of riding bikes to nearby travel and gives the reason with because of.