Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly and complete your idea in two or three clear sentences. Avoid fillers such as “umm,” “uh,” and “boom,” as well as repeated phrases like “when I was.” Correct the word order in “a small a blue bike” to “a small blue bike.” The final part is unclear, so explain exactly what your father did and where he took you. Use a linking word such as “I remember that” to connect the detail about your age to the story.

예시: Yes, I had a small blue bike when I was about seven or eight years old. I remember that my father helped my older sister and me learn how to ride it in a nearby park. We spent a lot of time cycling there after school.

제안: Start with a clear answer, such as “Yes, but they were more popular in the past.” Avoid beginning with “And,” and change “when we were child” to “when we were children.” Explain why bicycles are less common now; the statement “there are fewer children” does not fully explain the change. You could mention traffic, safety concerns, or the popularity of cars and public transport. Use a contrast linker such as “however” to organize the comparison between the past and the present.

예시: Yes, bikes are still fairly popular, but they were more common about 15 years ago. At that time, many children in my neighborhood rode their bikes together after school. However, nowadays, heavier traffic and the popularity of cars and public transport have made cycling less common.

× Yeah, I had a small a blue bike when I was, umm, when I was a child.

✓ Yeah, I had a small blue bike when I was a child.

The article a should appear only once before the adjective phrase. The correct noun phrase is a small blue bike. Avoid repeating the article between two adjectives.

× Then, uh, one day my father came to help and, uh, boom, get me and my older sister to a buck shape.

✓ Then, one day, my father came to pick me and my older sister up and take us to a bike shop.

The original sentence has an unclear and incomplete verb structure. After came to, use coordinated base verbs: pick and take. The phrase pick someone up means to collect someone, and bike shop is the appropriate noun phrase for the intended meaning.

× So we.

✓ So, we went to the bike shop.

The original sentence is a fragment because it contains a subject but no complete verb. Add a verb, such as went, to form a complete sentence.

× And I think that they used to be more popular since when we were child, about 15 years ago, we would see all the children in the neighborhood playing and riding bikes.

✓ I think that bikes used to be more popular when we were children. About 15 years ago, we would see all the children in the neighborhood playing and riding bikes.

The plural subject we requires the plural noun children, not the singular noun child. Use children when referring to more than one child.

× And I think that they used to be more popular since when we were child, about 15 years ago, we would see all the children in the neighborhood playing and riding bikes.

✓ I think that bikes used to be more popular when we were children. About 15 years ago, we would see all the children in the neighborhood playing and riding bikes.

Since when is not appropriate in this sentence. Use when to introduce the period in which bikes were more popular. Also, avoid beginning the answer with And unless it is directly connected to a previous idea.