Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is direct and includes a specific personal memory, which makes it engaging. However, “ride a cycle” is less natural than “ride a bike,” and “I remember a very fond memory” is redundant; say “I have a fond memory.” Also, the final sentence could explain why the experience was enjoyable. Use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two connected details.

예시: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandfather taught me how to ride it, and I have a particularly fond memory of my friends chasing me around while I cycled. We used to race each other in the park, so riding my bike was always exciting and fun.

제안: You answer the question directly and provide relevant observations, but the response becomes repetitive because “all the time” and the different times of day are repeated. The phrase “see children and even adults ride bicycles” should be “see children and adults riding bicycles.” Improve coherence by grouping the examples and adding a reason, such as bicycles being affordable, convenient, or environmentally friendly. Keep the answer concise and avoid listing unnecessary details.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. I often see both children and adults riding them in parks and on quiet streets, especially in the mornings and evenings. They are affordable and convenient, and many people use them for exercise as well as short journeys, so it is great to see them becoming more common.

× I remember a very fond memory when I was a kid that my friends used to chase me around while I rode the cycle.

✓ I remember a fond memory from when I was a kid: my friends used to chase me around while I rode my bicycle.

The original sentence has an awkward structure because the clause beginning with 'that' does not connect clearly to 'memory.' Use 'from when I was a kid' to introduce the time period, and then use a colon to introduce the specific memory. This makes the sentence clearer and easier to follow.

× Whenever I go walking down the road or in the park, I always see children and even adults ride bicycles all the time, even at night, even in the morning, the afternoon, all the time and it's honestly great to see.

✓ Whenever I walk down the road or through the park, I always see children and even adults riding bicycles. They ride in the morning, in the afternoon, and even at night, and it is honestly great to see.

After 'see,' use the present participle 'riding' when describing people in the middle of an activity that you observe. The original sentence also contains an overly long list of time expressions, so dividing it into two sentences improves clarity. Use 'in the morning,' 'in the afternoon,' and 'at night' as complete prepositional phrases.