Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. The main grammatical error is “write it,” which should be “ride it.” Also, use “around the neighborhood” instead of “around neighborhood,” and divide the long sentence into shorter sentences to sound more natural and effective.

예시: Yes, I had a small yellow bicycle when I was a child. My father gave it to me as a birthday present, and it had training wheels to help me learn. I remember feeling very proud when I could finally ride it around the neighborhood by myself.

제안: Start with a direct answer and avoid repeating “bikes, bicycles.” Replace “drive riding” with “ride” and “it’s actually supports their healthy system” with “they help children stay healthy.” Reduce fillers such as “uh” and “umm,” and use a linking phrase such as “This is because” to connect your reason. Give a more precise explanation, such as exercise, affordable transport, or safety in small towns.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in small towns. Many children ride them around their neighborhoods because cycling is enjoyable and inexpensive. In addition, it helps them stay active and healthy as they grow up.

× When I was a child I had a small yellow bicycle that my father bought me as a gift and it had small training wheels to help me learn and I remember I felt very proud to write it around neighborhood.

✓ When I was a child, I had a small yellow bicycle that my father bought me as a gift. It had small training wheels to help me learn, and I remember feeling very proud to ride it around the neighborhood.

The original sentence contains too many independent ideas joined together without appropriate punctuation or sentence boundaries. Dividing it into two sentences makes the structure clearer. Also, ride is the correct verb for using a bicycle; write is a spelling or word-choice error.

× When I was a child I had a small yellow bicycle that my father bought me as a gift and it had small training wheels to help me learn and I remember I felt very proud to write it around neighborhood.

✓ When I was a child, I had a small yellow bicycle that my father bought me as a gift. It had small training wheels to help me learn, and I remember feeling very proud to ride it around the neighborhood.

Neighborhood is a countable noun in this context and refers to a specific neighborhood, so it needs the definite article the: around the neighborhood.

× Yes, I think bikes, bicycles are very popular in my country, uh, especially in small towns, uh, children, uh, spend a lot of time, uh, drive riding it around the neighborhood.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country, especially in small towns. Children spend a lot of time riding them around the neighborhood.

After spend time, use a gerund with the -ing form: spend time riding. Drive riding is not a correct verb combination here, so it should be replaced with riding.

× Yes, I think bikes, bicycles are very popular in my country, uh, especially in small towns, uh, children, uh, spend a lot of time, uh, drive riding it around the neighborhood.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country, especially in small towns. Children spend a lot of time riding them around the neighborhood.

The pronoun must agree with its antecedent. Bicycles is plural, so use them instead of it.

× Umm, it's actually supports their uh, healthy system, umm, while growing up.

✓ It actually supports children's health while they are growing up.

It's means it is, but the sentence needs the subject pronoun it followed directly by the verb supports. Because it is a third-person singular subject, the verb correctly takes -s: supports.

× Umm, it's actually supports their uh, healthy system, umm, while growing up.

✓ It actually supports children's health while they are growing up.

When referring to a specific local area, use the definite article the. For example, children ride their bicycles around the neighborhood. In this corrected version, that phrase is omitted to make the sentence more concise.