Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer more directly and avoid repetition. “When I was a child” and “when I was 10 years old” repeat the same time reference, and “It was gifted to me” is less natural than “My dad gave it to me.” Also, “obsessed with this one bike” sounds slightly unnatural in this context; “I really liked a Rockrider bike” would be clearer. Use one or two specific details, such as how often you rode it or where you went.

예시: Yes, I did. My dad gave me a Rockrider bike for my tenth birthday, and I was thrilled because I had wanted one for a long time. I used to ride it around my neighborhood after school and at weekends.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then support it with specific reasons or examples. Replace “There are many bike brands which people buy from” with “There are many brands available, so people have plenty of choices.” Avoid informal or vague phrases such as “over here” and “any place you would want to go.” You could also distinguish between bicycles and motorbikes, since “bike” can refer to both in India.

예시: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in India, especially among children and teenagers. Many students ride them to school or college because they are affordable and convenient. In addition, cycling is becoming more popular among adults for exercise and short journeys.