Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Answer the question directly and avoid hesitations, repetition, and incorrect structures. Replace “My dad got me that, but I can” with “My dad bought it for me, and I got extremely excited.” Use a natural expression such as “out of happiness” instead of “from happiness,” and connect the details more smoothly.

예시: Yes, I did. I had a pink bike when I was about three or four years old, and my dad bought it for me. I was extremely excited, so I jumped around the room and even screamed with happiness. It was one of my earliest and happiest childhood memories.

제안: Give a clear overall opinion first, then explain the cultural context with accurate grammar. Replace “it wasn't familiar for me” with “it wasn't common for me to see,” and use “break those rules” rather than “break out that rules.” Avoid restarting the sentence and clarify whether cycling is popular among the general population or mainly among girls.

예시: I wouldn't say bikes are very popular among girls in my country. When I was growing up in the Middle East, it was uncommon to see girls riding bikes because of traditional social expectations. However, some girls challenged these norms and rode bikes anyway. Overall, cycling is becoming more accepted, but it is still not extremely common.

× My dad got me that, but I can, I got super, super excited.

✓ My dad got it for me, and I got super, super excited.

The modal verb can is incorrectly inserted before the past-tense verb got. Since the student is describing a completed event in the past, use the past-tense verb got directly. Also, it is more natural to say got it for me rather than got me that when referring to a gift.

× I started jumping all around the room, uh, from excited.

✓ I started jumping all around the room because I was excited.

From excited is not the correct expression because excited is an adjective and cannot follow from in this structure. Use because I was excited to give the reason for the action. Alternatively, you could say from excitement, using the noun excitement.

× It wasn't familiar for me to see girls riding bikes.

✓ It wasn't common for me to see girls riding bikes.

Familiar means known or recognized by someone, so it does not accurately express that something was unusual or uncommon. Use the adjective common to describe something that was not often seen. The expression common for me to see is also more natural in this context.

× But it was actually, there are some girls that did, uh, break out that rules and rode those bikes.

✓ But there were actually some girls who broke those rules and rode bikes.

The sentence incorrectly combines it was with there are. Use there were to introduce people or things that existed in the past. The structure there were some girls is the appropriate there-be construction for this sentence.

× But it was actually, there are some girls that did, uh, break out that rules and rode those bikes.

✓ But there were actually some girls who broke those rules and rode bikes.

The answer describes past experiences, so are must be changed to were. The verb break should also be changed to its simple past form broke. The relative pronoun who is more appropriate than that when referring to people.

× They did, uh, break out that rules.

✓ They broke those rules.

The singular demonstrative that cannot modify the plural noun rules. Use the plural demonstrative those. In addition, the correct expression is break those rules, not break out those rules.