Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 답변의 핵심 내용은 분명하고, 아버지가 가르쳐 주셨지만 자전거를 자주 타지 않았다는 구체적인 이유도 제시했습니다. 그러나 ‘prowess of riding a bike’는 지나치게 부자연스럽고 ‘my bike-riding skills were poor’ 또는 ‘I was not good at riding a bike’가 더 적절합니다. 또한 ‘when I was a pupil’보다 ‘when I was a child’가 질문의 표현과 자연스럽게 연결됩니다. ‘Though’ 절 뒤에는 쉼표를 사용하고, 마지막 문장은 ‘so’ 앞에 쉼표를 넣어 논리적 연결을 명확히 하세요.

예시: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. However, I didn’t ride it very often because I wasn’t very good at balancing. My father tried to teach me, but I kept falling off, so I eventually lost interest in cycling.

제안: 첫 문장의 ‘biblical’은 ‘매우 큰’이라는 의미로 사용할 수 없으므로 문맥에 맞지 않습니다. ‘Bikes are not very popular in my country’처럼 직접적이고 자연스럽게 답하세요. 또한 자전거의 인기와 학생들의 교육 부담 및 정부 정책이 충분히 연결되지 않아 질문에 대한 초점이 흐려졌습니다. ‘excessive educational demanding’은 잘못된 표현이므로 ‘academic pressure’ 또는 ‘heavy schoolwork’를 사용하고, 자전거가 인기가 없는 구체적인 이유로 교통 환경, 날씨 또는 자전거 도로 부족을 제시하세요. Part 1에서는 정부가 행동해야 한다는 일반적인 주장보다 개인적인 관찰과 짧은 예시가 더 효과적입니다.

예시: Bikes are not particularly popular in my country. Many people prefer cars or public transportation because the roads can be dangerous for cyclists and there are not enough bike lanes. However, cycling is becoming more common among young people because it is affordable and good for their health.

× However, I didn't ride a bike often because my prowess of riding a bike was very poor.

✓ However, I didn't ride a bike often because my prowess in riding a bike was very poor.

The noun prowess is normally followed by the preposition in when referring to a skill or ability. Therefore, prowess in riding is grammatically appropriate. More naturally, you could say my riding skills were very poor.

× Though my father taught me how to ride a bike, I couldn't keep the balance so I eventually decided not to ride a bike.

✓ Though my father taught me how to ride a bike, I couldn't keep my balance, so I eventually decided not to ride a bike.

The fixed expression is keep my balance, because the balance belongs to the person who is riding. The possessive pronoun my is required here. A comma should also be placed before so because it connects two independent clauses.

× As a matter of fact, the vast majority of students are suffering from excessive educational demanding.

✓ As a matter of fact, the vast majority of students are suffering from excessive educational demands.

Demanding is an adjective and cannot function as the noun after excessive educational. The noun demands is required because the sentence refers to the educational requirements or pressures experienced by students. You could also say excessive educational pressure.