Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammatical accuracy and coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct the sentence fragment (“We because…”), and add one specific detail. Use a linking word to connect supporting detail and keep answers concise (no more than 4–5 sentences).

예시: Yes. I had a bike that I shared with my siblings when I was a child. We enjoyed riding it every evening after school, and often raced each other around the neighborhood to see who was fastest. Because the streets were quiet, these races were safe and very exciting.

제안: Clarify contrast and fix sentence structure. Start with a direct statement, then give specific examples and use appropriate linking words (e.g., however, although, on the other hand). Avoid hanging phrases like “although cars.” Keep to 3–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (commute, leisure, exercise).

예시: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, children often ride bikes for fun and to race with friends, while many adults use them for short commutes or exercise. However, cars remain the main mode of transport for longer journeys, so bicycle use is mostly local.

× We because we would race each other around neighborhood.

✓ We would race each other around the neighborhood.

The original sentence contains an extraneous conjunction 'because' and lacks the definite article 'the' before 'neighborhood'. This creates a sentence fragment and incorrect sentence structure. Remove 'because' to restore a complete clause and add 'the' for correct noun phrase: 'around the neighborhood.' Suggestion: keep sentences simple and ensure each clause has a clear subject and verb; avoid inserting connectors that do not link to a cause or reason.

× Adults also use bikes for short commutes and exercise although cars.

✓ Adults also use bikes for short commutes and exercise, although many people prefer cars.

The original sentence ends with 'although cars,' which is a sentence fragment and does not complete the comparative idea. 'Although' must introduce a contrasting clause that is grammatically complete. I added 'many people prefer cars' to make a full contrasting clause and included a comma before 'although.' Suggestion: when using conjunctions like 'although,' follow them with a complete independent clause; alternatively, rephrase without 'although' (e.g., '...exercise, but cars are more common for longer trips').