Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clear and concise: start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No and brief context), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct tense and avoid filler words. For example, say when you received the bike, who gave it to you, why it was memorable, and one brief detail about how you used it.

예시: Yes. I received a bike as a birthday present from my father when I was eight, and it became one of my most memorable gifts. Because I lived near a park, I spent many afternoons riding with friends, which helped me become more confident and independent.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with specific, organized reasons using linking words (for example, because, for instance, and however). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Mention concrete contexts where bikes are used (commuting, markets, rural areas) and one short comparison or consequence.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. For example, many people use bicycles to commute to work or go to local markets, especially in crowded cities where traffic is bad. As a result, cycling is both economical and practical for daily life.

× Uh, actually when I was a child, I'm having my birthday, my father gave me the gift like a bike.

✓ Uh, actually when I was a child, on my birthday my father gave me a gift, a bike.

The original mixes past simple ('was', 'gave') with present continuous ('I'm having'), causing tense inconsistency. Use past simple 'on my birthday' to match the past context. Also correct article and word order: 'a gift, a bike' is clearer than 'the gift like a bike'. Suggestion: Keep past events in past simple and use 'on my birthday' for time expressions.

× So it's the memorable day in my life.

✓ So it was a memorable day in my life.

Article and tense are incorrect. Use 'a memorable day' (indefinite article) rather than 'the memorable day' because it is one of many possible memorable days. Also maintain past tense 'was' to match the narrative. Suggestion: Use 'a' with singular countable nouns when not specifying a unique item and keep tense consistent.

× And that's the thing, uh, I wasn't, I was a boy.

✓ And that was the thing; I was a boy then.

The sentence is fragmented and awkward ('I wasn't, I was a boy' contradicts itself). Use a single clear past statement 'I was a boy then' and keep tense consistent. Suggestion: Avoid contradictory fragments and combine ideas into one coherent past-tense sentence.

× Yes, our country is a small country so bikes are very popular for our people and helpful to people.

✓ Yes, our country is small, so bikes are very popular and helpful to people.

Redundant wording ('our country is a small country') and awkward phrasing ('for our people' repeated). Keep present simple for general truths: 'is small', 'are popular'. Suggestion: Remove repetition and use concise structures for general statements.

× Some some scanned by the vehicle but some peoples are buying bike like then the reason where people are important very important thing by so it's a potential thing in the country.

✓ Some people use motor vehicles, but other people buy bikes because they are important and practical; therefore bicycles are a promising mode of transport in the country.

The original sentence has multiple problems: doubled 'Some some', incorrect word choices ('scanned by the vehicle' makes no sense), incorrect plural 'peoples', missing articles and unclear connectors. I replaced with clear contrasting structure 'Some people use motor vehicles, but other people buy bikes', correct plural 'people', and clarified reasons and conclusion. Suggestion: Use simple contrast connectors (but, however), correct plural forms, and choose precise vocabulary ('practical', 'promising mode of transport').