Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No and brief reason), avoid filler words (umm, uh), and complete your thought with a specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, however, because, recently). Keep the answer within 2–4 sentences.

예시: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because in my community girls were discouraged from cycling. However, attitudes have changed recently and I now see many young women riding bikes for commuting and exercise.

제안: Answer directly and finish your point. Use a clear topic sentence (Yes, because...) and give two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, for instance, therefore). Remove fillers and repeat words. Aim for 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because many people prefer them for short trips and to avoid traffic. For example, people often use bicycles for shopping errands or commuting short distances, which is cheaper and more convenient than driving.

× No, actually I didn't have a bike because I'm good umm and here in Pakistan people believe that girls don't uh, you girls shouldn't use bikes, but yeah umm, in recent years I can see many girls riding bikes and I.

✓ No, actually I didn't have a bike because in Pakistan people believe that girls shouldn't use bikes, but in recent years I have seen many girls riding bikes.

The original sentence misuses pronouns ('you girls' is unnecessary and inconsistent with the first person 'I') and mixes tenses and filler words. Remove 'you girls' to keep the subject consistent. Change 'I'm good' (irrelevant) to remove confusion. Use present perfect 'have seen' to indicate a change observed up to now. Also trim filler 'umm' and repeated words for clarity.

× Well, I do think bikes are popular in my country because many of the people are riding bikes umm as umm it it is not necessary to use private cars every time umm there are some small errands for which.

✓ Well, I do think bikes are popular in my country because many people ride bikes, as it is not necessary to use private cars every time and there are some small errands for which bikes are more convenient.

The original uses progressive 'are riding' awkwardly; simple present 'ride' expresses habitual action. Remove filler words and the repeated 'it'. Complete the sentence by adding the object 'bikes' and finishing the thought. Use 'for which bikes are more convenient' to clarify the purpose. This corrects tense usage and completes sentence structure.