Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms and articles, and avoid repetition. For example, change “my parents or my dad he bought it” to “my dad bought it,” and use past continuous or simple past consistently (e.g. “I used to pretend it was a horse”).

예시: Yes, I had a small pink bike when I was a child. My dad bought it for me, and I used to pretend it was a horse because my dream was to become a horse rider. I rode it every day around the neighborhood, which helped me build confidence.

제안: Give a direct answer, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition (don’t repeat “the weather is very hot”). Mention any exceptions or comparisons if possible. Use concise, natural phrasing such as “because” and “however.”

예시: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because the climate is extremely hot for much of the year, which makes cycling uncomfortable. Also, traffic and limited cycling infrastructure discourage people from using bikes. However, some people still cycle for exercise or short trips in cooler seasons.

× My parents or my dad he bought it for me and I was trading It like a horse.

✓ My dad bought it for me and I was treating it like a horse.

The original sentence mixes subjects ('my parents or my dad he'), creating a redundancy and incorrect pronoun use. Use a single clear subject: 'My dad bought it for me.' Also 'It' should be lowercase 'it'. 'Trading' is incorrect verb choice here; context suggests 'treating' (meaning to behave as if the bike were a horse). Suggestion: choose one subject and avoid repeating with a redundant pronoun; use correct verb 'treat' in past continuous if describing an ongoing past habit: 'I was treating it like a horse.'

× I remember that because my really dream was to be a horse rider.

✓ I remember that because my real dream was to be a horse rider.

The phrase 'my really dream' incorrectly uses the adverb 'really' to modify the noun 'dream'. Use the adjective 'real' to modify a noun: 'my real dream'. This corrects word class usage. Alternatively, say 'I really remember that because...' if intending to modify the verb.

× So I was treating

✓ So I was treating it like a horse.

The fragment 'So I was treating' is incomplete; the verb 'treat' in past continuous needs an object to complete the meaning. Add the object 'it' and the rest of the clause 'like a horse' to form a complete sentence. Past continuous is appropriate for describing an ongoing action in the past.

× In my opinion, bikes are not really so popular in my country because of the extremely hot weather in Omar, the weather is very hot so it's very hard to ride about.

✓ In my opinion, bikes are not very popular in my country because the weather in Oman is extremely hot, so it's very hard to ride them.

Several issues: 'not really so popular' is wordy; 'not very popular' is more natural. 'in Omar' is likely a misspelling of the country name 'Oman'. Repeating 'the weather is very hot' is redundant; combine ideas with a comma. Use the pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'bikes' rather than the vague 'ride about'. Also use correct preposition/verb: 'ride them' not 'ride about'. These changes correct present-tense description and preposition/pronoun use.