Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise, more natural, and include one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetitive adjectives (e.g., "extremely beautiful" and "extremely fond"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a brief detail (when/how often/what you learned) and finish with a short reflection. Keep to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I had a bike as a child. My parents gave it to me when I was six; it was a blue, single-speed bike that I rode every day to the park. Because I practiced a lot, I became confident riding on busy streets, which made me feel independent.

제안: Provide a direct opinion then add specific examples and a linking word to organize points. Avoid vague phrases like "multiple different people" and filler like "but yeah." Mention who uses bikes and for what purposes (commuting, exercise, errands) and give a short reason or comparison. Keep answers within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient. For instance, many students and office workers cycle to school or work, while others use bikes for short errands and exercise, especially in cities with bike lanes.

× Yes, as a child I had a bike.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I had a bike.

The original sentence is understandable but the phrase 'as a child' is acceptable; however, 'when I was a child' is clearer and more natural in this context. Use 'when' to indicate time more precisely.

× It was gifted to me by my parents when I was at the age of six and it was blue in colour.

✓ It was given to me by my parents when I was six, and it was blue in colour.

'Gifted to me' is not incorrect but 'given to me' is more natural. The phrase 'at the age of six' is wordy; use 'when I was six'. Also add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses.

× It was extremely beautiful.

✓ It was very beautiful.

'Extremely' is not wrong but sounds exaggerated for describing a bike in this context; 'very' is more natural. This is a stylistic suggestion to improve naturalness.

× I was extremely fond of it.

✓ I was very fond of it.

Similar to above, 'very' sounds more natural than 'extremely' for this sentiment. This improves tone and idiomatic usage.

× I would ride it daily and it was amazing.

✓ I would ride it daily; it was amazing.

Use a semicolon or full stop to separate two independent clauses. This improves sentence flow and correctness.

× Bikes are extremely popular in my country.

✓ Bicycles are extremely popular in my country.

'Bikes' is acceptable, but 'bicycles' is more formal and matches exam register. Tense is correct; this suggestion improves formality.

× In fact, you will see it being used daily by multiple different people.

✓ In fact, you can see them being used daily by many different people.

Using 'you will see' sounds like prediction; 'you can see' indicates habitual observation. 'It' is singular while referring to 'bicycles' (plural), so use 'them'. 'Multiple different people' is wordy; 'many different people' is more natural.

× Adults children use it a lot for different needs, but yeah.

✓ Adults and children use them a lot for different purposes.

The original misses conjunction 'and' between 'Adults' and 'children'. Use 'them' to agree with plural 'bicycles'. 'Needs' is better expressed as 'purposes'. Omit informal 'but yeah' to maintain appropriate register.