Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce repetition and give a clear, directly relevant response with correct word choice and simple linking. Start with a topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details (e.g., who gave it, what you liked about it). Aim for 2–4 sentences, avoid filler words and repeated words, and correct collocation (e.g., “pink bike” not “pink bag” if you meant the bike).

예시: Yes, I did. When I was in primary school I had a small pink bike that my mother gave me, and I loved riding it around the neighborhood. It reminded me of carefree afternoons with my friends and made me feel more independent.

제안: Give a concise opinion first, then support it with clear, specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repeating phrases and incorrect word order. Use connectors like 'because', 'so', or 'for example' and provide one concrete example or result. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular. Because traffic congestion is a major problem in my country, many people choose to ride bicycles to save time and avoid traffic jams; for example, more commuters now use bike-sharing services in the city.

× Of course I did. When I was in primary school, I had really cute pink, pink bag which which my mom gave to me.

✓ Of course I did. When I was in primary school, I had a really cute pink bag that my mom gave me.

Pronoun and determiners: 'pink, pink bag' repeats word and is redundant; use 'a' for a singular countable noun (article error/singular-plural). 'Which which' is duplicated. 'Which my mom gave to me' is wordy; 'that' or no relative pronoun with 'gave me' is more natural. Also use 'a' before 'really cute pink bag'. Suggestion: remove duplicates, use 'a', and prefer 'that my mom gave me' or 'my mom gave me'.

× And, and even though I have this bag, this bike right now, it's this bag.

✓ And even though I still have this bike now, it reminds me of my childhood.

Pronoun and reference: The original mixes 'bag' and 'bike' causing confusion; pronoun reference is unclear. 'Even though I have this bag, this bike right now, it's this bag' is ungrammatical. Correct by clarifying subject: if referring to the bike, say 'I still have this bike now' and state its effect: 'it reminds me of my childhood.' Remove repeated fillers like 'and, and'.

× This bike reminds me of my childhood, childhood.

✓ This bike reminds me of my childhood.

Redundancy and repetition: 'childhood, childhood' repeats the noun unnecessarily. Remove the duplicate for grammaticality and naturalness.

× I think, I think, I think it's really popular because my country is my country's biggest pro, biggest challenge is the traffic due to the fact that so people, people trying to do reduce the traffic.

✓ I think it's very popular because my country's biggest problem is traffic, so people are trying to reduce it.

Tense and sentence structure: Excessive repetition 'I think, I think, I think' is a fluency issue; keep a single 'I think.' 'My country is my country's biggest pro, biggest challenge' is nonsensical and contains repetition. Use 'my country's biggest problem is traffic.' 'Due to the fact that so people, people trying to do reduce the traffic' mixes structures. Use 'so people are trying to reduce it.' Ensure subject-verb agreement with 'people are trying.'

× So people even start to do starting to ride a bike.

✓ So people have even started to ride bikes.

Verb form: 'start to do starting to ride' is redundant and incorrect. Use 'have started' to indicate a recent change relevant now, or 'are starting' for ongoing action. Also use plural 'bikes' for general reference. Suggestion: 'people have started to ride bikes' or 'people are starting to ride bikes.'