Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct tense/grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct mistakes like “so roughly about four years old” (use either roughly or about) and verb consistency (“we took turns” not “we take turns”).

예시: Yes, I had a bike as a child. I started riding it when I was about four years old, and I often rode around our yard with my brothers. Furthermore, we took turns using the bike, which made it a fun shared activity.

제안: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and two specific reasons, linked logically. Avoid run-on sentences and unclear phrases like “in all in one.” Use linking words (for example, because, moreover). Replace informal or awkward phrases with concise vocabulary.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in the Philippines. Firstly, they are an inexpensive way to travel from point A to point B because there are no fare costs; moreover, riding a bike provides regular exercise, which is an added health benefit.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, so roughly about four years old.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, starting when I was roughly four years old.

The original phrase 'so roughly about four years old' is awkward and unclear in tense/structure. This is a present tense/sequence-of-events clarity issue: the speaker is describing past events and should use a clear past time expression. Rewriting as 'starting when I was roughly four years old' makes the time reference precise and fits the past-tense description. Suggestion: use 'starting when I was...' or 'from about...' to indicate the age when the activity began.

× I started riding my bike, going around the house in circles and just playing with my brothers and we take turns in playing the bike.

✓ I started riding my bike, going around the house in circles and just playing with my brothers; we took turns riding the bike.

This sentence mixes verb tenses and forms. 'I started riding' correctly uses past tense, but 'we take turns in playing the bike' incorrectly uses present tense and awkward preposition and noun form. According to the verb + -ing issue, use the -ing form consistently for activities: 'took turns riding' uses past tense 'took' to match 'started' and the gerund 'riding' after 'took turns.' Also replace the preposition phrase 'in playing the bike' with the natural collocation 'riding the bike.' Suggestion: keep past tense throughout and use natural verb + -ing collocations.

× Absolutely, bikes are very popular in the Philippines because it takes you from point A to point B without any fees and commute is very stressful and expensive while the bike is good because you have exercise and in all in one.

✓ Absolutely, bikes are very popular in the Philippines because they take you from point A to point B without any fees, commuting is often stressful and expensive, and bikes are good because you get exercise and they are convenient all in one.

Multiple issues: subject-pronoun agreement and tense/clarity. 'It takes you' uses singular 'it' for plural 'bikes'—this is a present tense issue and subject-verb agreement; use 'they take.' 'Commute is very stressful' is awkward; use 'commuting is often stressful.' The clause 'while the bike is good because you have exercise and in all in one' is ungrammatical: 'you have exercise' should be 'you get exercise' and 'in all in one' should be 'convenient all in one' or 'all in one.' The corrected sentence keeps present tense consistently and fixes pronoun agreement and collocations. Suggestion: ensure plural subjects match plural verbs and use natural nouns/phrases like 'commuting' and 'get exercise.'