Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words (uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Mention a brief memory or why it mattered to make the answer more engaging.

예시: Yes — I had a red mountain bike when I was a child. My father gave it to me as a birthday present, and I used to ride it every afternoon around our neighbourhood, which helped me make friends and stay active.

제안: Give a clearer, more structured response: state your opinion, then support it with specific reasons and an example. Reduce hesitations and use linking words (for example, therefore, because) to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I believe bikes are quite popular in my country. Because it is developing, many middle-income families use bicycles for daily transport; for example, people commonly cycle to markets and schools since bikes are affordable and practical.

× Yes, I had a bike, uh, it was a red colour bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike; it was a red-colored bike.

The original uses an incorrect article/phrase 'red colour bike'. In English, use 'red-colored bike' or 'red bike.' Also use a semicolon or period to separate two independent clauses instead of a comma splice. Suggestion: say 'Yes, I had a bike. It was a red bike.'

× Uh, the mountain bike I got I received from my father, uh, for my birthday as a present.

✓ The mountain bike I got was a present from my father for my birthday.

The original is repetitive ('got I received') and has awkward word order. Use the past simple 'got' or 'received' once, and structure the sentence clearly: 'The mountain bike I got was a present from my father for my birthday.' This fixes redundancy and improves clarity.

× Yeah, I think so. Uh, because, uh, my country is a developing country, so lots of, uh, middle income, uh, families use uh, bikes for their daily routines.

✓ Yes, I think so because my country is developing, and many middle-income families use bikes for their daily routines.

Beginning a sentence with 'Because' can create a fragment when not attached to an independent clause; the original also overuses filler and has awkward phrasing 'developing country' repeated and 'lots of middle income families' which should be 'many middle-income families.' Combine clauses properly and remove fillers. Use hyphen in 'middle-income.'