Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer repeats the examiner’s question and then gives a long, disfluent response with grammar and vocabulary errors. To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question (e.g. “Yes, I did.”). 2) Keep responses concise (no more than 3–4 sentences) and avoid filler sounds (uh, um). 3) Use correct verbs and tense (e.g. “ride” instead of “writing”) and simple past to describe childhood events. 4) Add one or two specific details using linking words (e.g. “because,” “for example,” “so”) to make your answer coherent. 5) Check sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and include clear punctuation pauses when speaking.

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child my parents bought me a bright red bike, and I used to ride it every afternoon after school. Because I practiced a lot, I once rode it all day and enjoyed it a lot, but I also fell and scraped my knee. Overall, riding that bike was one of my happiest childhood memories.

× As I was a child, uh, I was really interested in writing a bike and I pushed my father to buy me a beautiful bike and I remember the time that uh, I uh, rode a bike uh, for a whole day and that I really enjoy and, and I really got injured.

✓ When I was a child, I was really interested in riding a bike, and I persuaded my father to buy me a beautiful one. I remember a time when I rode a bike for a whole day; I really enjoyed it, but I also got injured.

Multiple issues: 'As I was a child' is a preposition/time phrase misuse; 'When I was a child' is correct for describing past time. 'writing a bike' uses wrong verb/preposition; the correct verb is 'riding' (verb + -ing form) but this falls under preposition/word choice here. 'Pushed my father to buy me' is informal and collocation 'persuaded my father to buy me' is better. 'the time that I rode' should be 'a time when I rode' or 'I remember when I rode'; use of 'that' and 'when' matters for relative/time clauses. 'for a whole day and that I really enjoy' mixes past and present; change to past 'I really enjoyed it'. Also clarify by adding 'but' to show contrast before 'I also got injured'. Suggestions: use 'when' for past time clauses, use correct verb 'ride' -> 'rode' with -ing when needed, maintain consistent past tense (was, persuaded, rode, enjoyed, got injured), and replace informal 'pushed' with 'persuaded' for natural collocation.