Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, grammatical and specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and possessive forms, and avoid fillers like “umm.” For example, say when you got the bike, who gave it and why it was memorable. Use linking words (e.g., because, so) to make the answer coherent.

예시: Yes, I did. I received a small red bike from my grandfather when I was seven, and I still remember it clearly because we used to ride together every weekend. Because it was his gift, the bike always reminds me of him and our time spent in the neighborhood.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and examples. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles, plurals) and linking words (for example, because, therefore). Avoid vague phrases like “grow their.” Explain how bikes are used (commuting, exercise) and mention who uses them (children, adults).

예시: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because many children and adults use them for short journeys and exercise. For example, parents often buy bikes for their kids so they can ride to school or play with friends, and in some cities people use bikes to commute to work because it is cheap and healthy.

× Umm, I can remember.

✓ Umm, I remember.

The original uses 'can remember' which implies ability rather than recalling a past event. In this context the simple present 'I remember' suitably expresses a memory that still exists. Use simple present to state a general fact about memory.

× It was a very good memory to me.

✓ It was a very good memory for me.

The preposition 'to' is incorrect here; 'memory for me' or 'a very good memory' without a preposition is natural. Use 'for' to indicate the beneficiary or affected person, or simply say 'It is a very good memory.'

× My grandfather gave me a bike from neighborhood so I can remind my grandfather when I'm thinking.

✓ My grandfather gave me a bike from the neighborhood, so I can remember him when I think about it.

Several issues: 'from neighborhood' needs the article 'the' and sounds odd; 'remind my grandfather when I'm thinking' is incorrect — you 'remember' or 'think of' someone, not 'remind' yourself someone. Also tense/aspect should match: use present simple 'I can remember' or 'I remember him when I think about it.' Here 'remember him when I think about it' is clearer.

× Yes it is because many children have a bike in my country and many parents want to give their child to a bike because child can use a bike to go to school or go to outside and grow their.

✓ Yes, they are, because many children in my country have bikes and many parents want to give their child a bike because a child can use a bike to go to school or go outside and grow up.

Multiple problems corrected according to listed types: subject-verb agreement and number (use 'they are' referring to bikes), plural forms ('bikes', 'children'), article use ('a child'), incorrect preposition 'to a bike' should be 'a bike', incorrect phrase 'go to outside' should be 'go outside', and 'grow their' is incorrect — use 'grow up.' The corrected sentence fixes agreement, pluralization, articles, prepositions, and the verb phrase for maturing.