Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammatical accuracy, coherence and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tenses and pronouns, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two supporting details (who gave it, how you used it) linked with simple connectors like “because” or “so.” Keep answers under five sentences.

예시: Yes. I had a bike when I was a child. My father gave it to me as a birthday present, and I used it almost every day to play with my friends in the neighborhood. Because it was comfortable and light, I learned to ride it quickly and became very attached to it.

제안: Be more fluent and concise. Start with a clear opinion, then give specific supporting details and use linking words like “especially” and “for example.” Replace hesitations with smooth phrasing and provide a brief reason or example.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among primary and secondary school students. For example, many children ride their bikes for short trips of 10 to 15 minutes to school because it is cheap, convenient and saves time.

× Yeah, I have and the bike is my dad sent to me is a as a birthday kid birthday gift and I really love him and buggy is too in my house. I yearly, uh having bike with them.

✓ Yes, I did. The bike my dad sent me was a birthday gift and I really loved it. There was also a buggy in my house. Every year, I rode a bike with them.

Multiple grammar problems occur in this sentence. (6) Present tense issue and (5) Past tense issue: The question asks about having a bike when you were a child, so past tense should be used (did/had/sent/were). Replace 'have' with 'did' or 'had', 'sent to me' with 'sent me', and 'is' with 'was'. (10) Incorrect use of the present participle: 'having bike with them' is ungrammatical for the intended meaning; use a simple past tense verb like 'rode'. (26) Sentence structure errors: The original is run-on and unclear; separate into clear sentences. (27) Subject-verb agreement: 'buggy is too in my house' is awkward; use 'There was also a buggy in my house' or 'We also had a buggy'. Suggestions: keep consistent past tense when describing childhood, simplify by using short sentences, use correct object pronouns ('it' for the bike), and use 'ride/rode' for bicycle actions.

× Um, the thing, yeah, sure. Uh, especially the students, maybe the, uh, the primary time, primary school time, because they will choose, uh, riding a bike to go to a school, uh, maybe just 10 minutes or 15 minutes. It's very convenient.

✓ Um, yes. Especially students in primary school often choose to ride a bike to school because it only takes about 10 or 15 minutes. It's very convenient.

Problems include (22) Article errors: 'to a school' should be 'to school' when speaking generally. (12) Incorrect use of pronouns/word choice: 'the students' and 'the primary time' are awkward; use 'students in primary school' or 'primary school students'. (8) Verb + -ing form: 'choose riding a bike' is less natural than 'choose to ride a bike' or 'often ride a bike'. (26) Sentence structure errors and wordiness: Remove filler words and reorder for clarity. Suggestions: use 'students in primary school' or 'primary school students', use 'ride a bike to school' and 'takes about 10 or 15 minutes' for clearer, natural English.