Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Use correct tense and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, give one or two specific supporting details, and avoid filler words (uh, so). Link ideas with simple connectors (and, because). Keep it within 3–4 sentences for clarity.

예시: Yes. I had a bicycle when I was a child; my grandmother gave it to me as a present. I mainly used it at our small vacation house in the city because the property had a large garden and safe paths. I enjoyed riding it there with my cousins.

제안: Be concise and use accurate vocabulary (e.g., "transport" not "transformation"). Give a clear opinion followed by one or two specific reasons and a linking word. Reduce repetition and hesitations.

예시: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country nowadays because most people prefer public transport or private cars. For example, cities have extensive bus and train networks, which are faster and more convenient for commuting.

× Yeah, I have a bike when I was a child, my grandma gave it to me when I was little and we have a little vacation house, uh, in our city, uh, and I can use that bike, uh, in that house, uh, because that, that house was uh, very big garden, so.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandma gave it to me when I was little, and we had a small vacation house in our city where I could use that bike because that house had a very large garden.

The student mixes present and past tenses inappropriately ('I have a bike when I was a child' and 'we have a little vacation house'). Use past tense consistently for past events. Also improve cohesion by separating into sentences and using correct collocations: 'small vacation house' and 'large garden.' Suggestions: use past simple for completed past actions ('had', 'gave', 'could use', 'had'), split run-on sentence into shorter sentences, and choose appropriate adjectives ('small' and 'large').

× From my perspective, uh, people in this century don't really use bikes for transformation because there are so many transform transformation vehicles, buses and trains for that.

✓ From my perspective, people nowadays don't really use bikes for transportation because there are many other vehicles, such as buses and trains, for that purpose.

The student uses 'in this century' awkwardly and repeats/misuses 'transform/transformation' instead of 'transportation.' Also 'so many' plus 'for that' is redundant. Use 'nowadays' or 'these days' for general present-time statements, and the correct noun is 'transportation.' Simplify the clause: 'many other vehicles, such as buses and trains.'

× Uh, so I don't think people really use bikes in the century in my city and my, in my country.

✓ So I don't think people in my city or in my country really use bikes much nowadays.

The phrase 'in the century' is incorrect for expressing current time; use 'nowadays' or 'these days.' Also word order and redundancy ('in my city and my, in my country') need correction. Suggestions: place adverb 'really' and frequency word 'much' appropriately ('really use bikes much' -> 'really use bikes much' is awkward; better: 'really use bikes much' -> 'use bikes much' -> 'use bikes much nowadays' -> recommended: 'really use bikes much nowadays' simplified to 'really use bikes much nowadays' but final correction uses natural order: 'don't think people in my city or in my country really use bikes much nowadays').