Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise by using a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repeating information and unnecessary words. Add a linking phrase to connect the topic and the detail (e.g., “because” or “so”).

예시: Yes — I had a bike when I was a child. My dad bought it for my seventh birthday, and I used to ride it to the park every weekend because it gave me a lot of freedom.

제안: Reduce hesitation and repetition by preparing a concise opinion sentence, then support it with a specific reason or comparison. Use linking words such as “however” or “because” to make the idea logical. Replace vague phrases like “as many as them” with clearer references (e.g., “European cities”).

예시: Yes, bikes are fairly popular in my country; however, they are less common than in many European cities because our cities are more car-oriented and lack extensive bike lanes.

× I think bikes are popular in our, our country, but uh, not as much as Europe, uh, not, uh, as many as them.

✓ I think bikes are popular in our country, but not as much as in Europe and not as many as there.

The original sentence has wordiness and incorrect comparison structures. 'Our, our country' is repetition and should be 'our country'. Comparison with 'Europe' requires 'in Europe' after 'as much as'. 'Not as many as them' is incorrect because 'them' is an object pronoun; when comparing quantities, use 'there' (referring to that place) or repeat 'in Europe'. Also remove filler sounds ('uh') for clarity. Improve by: 1) Delete repeated word and fillers. 2) Use 'in Europe' after 'as much as'. 3) Use 'there' or 'in Europe' instead of 'them'. This preserves tense and meaning.