Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "owned several bikes," "I rode them every evening after tuition"). Keep to at most 4–5 sentences.

예시: Yes. I owned several bikes as a child because I was fascinated by them. I used to ride every evening after my tuition and took good care of them, washing and polishing each one regularly. I especially liked black bikes, so most of mine were black.

제안: Answer directly, then support with a clear reason and an example. Use accurate phrases (e.g., "among my generation" not "voice of my generation") and avoid repetition. Include linking words like "because" or "for example." Keep sentences natural and varied in vocabulary.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially among my generation, because they are affordable and convenient. For example, many students commute to school and university by bike, and you can see clusters of cyclists near campuses every morning.

× Yes, when I was a child I was really fascinated towards bikes.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I was really fascinated by bikes.

Use 'fascinated by' or 'fascinated with' rather than 'fascinated towards'. 'Fascinated' typically takes 'by' to indicate the cause of fascination. Suggestion: use 'fascinated by' to sound natural.

× So I had a number of bikes and I used to wash them and kept a lot and kept them clean a lot and I enjoyed riding them every evening, evening after my tuitions.

✓ So I had a number of bikes; I used to wash and keep them clean a lot, and I enjoyed riding them every evening after my tuition.

Several issues: 'kept a lot' is ungrammatical and repetitive. Use parallel verbs 'wash and keep them clean'. 'Tuition' is usually uncountable in this context, not 'tuitions'. Remove duplicate 'evening'. Also add proper punctuation to separate clauses.

× Moreover, I was really, uh, attracted towards the black colour, so I had a lot in.

✓ Moreover, I was really attracted to the color black, so I had a lot of them.

Use 'attracted to' not 'attracted towards'. In English, color order is 'color black' or 'black color' (more natural: 'the color black'). 'Had a lot in' is unclear; specify 'a lot of them'. Also 'colour' spelling can be British; either is acceptable but keep consistent.

× Oh yes, I have seen a lot of people riding different sort of bikes in my country, especially in voice of my generation.

✓ Oh yes, I have seen a lot of people riding different sorts of bikes in my country, especially in my generation.

Use 'different sorts of bikes' (plural 'sorts') and 'in my generation' is the correct phrase; 'voice of my generation' is incorrect. 'A lot of people' is fine.

× They are really fascinated towards bikes and they are often seen riding different bikes to their schools and universities.

✓ They are really fascinated by bikes, and they are often seen riding different bikes to their schools and universities.

Again, use 'fascinated by' not 'fascinated towards'. 'Riding different bikes to their schools' is acceptable, but replace first clause preposition. Maintain parallel structure with a comma before 'and'.