Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise, fix grammatical errors, avoid redundant words, and keep within 3–4 sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. For example, correct articles and word order (“a hand-me-down bike from my father”), remove unnecessary words like “actually” or “particularly,” and give a precise age (e.g., “around six or seven”).

예시: Yes. I had a bright red hand-me-down bike from my father. I learned to ride without training wheels when I was around six or seven, and after that I spent most summer afternoons riding around the neighborhood.

제안: Make your answer more direct and correct tense and phrasing. Begin with a clear statement, then support it with specific reasons and a linking phrase. Avoid vague phrasing like “I'd said back then” and unclear cause-effect (health issues causing cycling). Instead, say “They have become more popular for health and recreation,” and give one concrete example or trend.

예시: I think bicycles are quite popular, but mainly for recreation and fitness rather than daily transport. In recent years more people have started cycling for exercise and leisure, and you now see organized weekend rides and more bike lanes in major cities.

× I actually had a bright red hand me down bike from my old my father.

✓ I actually had a bright red hand-me-down bike from my father.

The phrase 'hand me down' is an adjective here and should be hyphenated as 'hand-me-down'. Additionally, 'my old my father' contains a redundant 'my'; remove one instance so it reads 'my father'. Hyphenating compound adjectives and removing the duplicate pronoun improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I clearly remember learning to ride without training wheels when I was about 6:00 or 7:00, and after that I spent particularly every summer afternoon cruising around our neighborhood.

✓ I clearly remember learning to ride without training wheels when I was about six or seven, and after that I spent nearly every summer afternoon cruising around our neighborhood.

Use words rather than time-format numerals for ages: 'six or seven'. The adverb 'particularly' is not appropriate here; 'nearly' or 'almost' fits the intended meaning. Also remove the unnecessary commas and '00' from ages. 'Spent nearly every summer afternoon' is the correct idiomatic phrasing.

× I'd said back then they were popular but strictly as a lifestyle choice rather than a primary mode of transportation.

✓ I'd say back then they were popular but strictly as a lifestyle choice rather than a primary mode of transportation.

The contracted form 'I'd' plus 'said' is incorrect for the intended meaning. The speaker likely means 'I'd say' (I would say) to express an opinion about the past. 'I'd said' would require a past participle context (e.g., 'I'd said that before'), which is not intended here. Changing 'said' to 'say' corrects the modal/verbal expression to match the intended nuance.

× In recent years there has been a noticeable surge in health issues, leading many Indonesians to take up cycling for fitness.

✓ In recent years there has been a noticeable surge in health concerns, leading many Indonesians to take up cycling for fitness.

The phrase 'health issues' is grammatically acceptable but 'health concerns' is a more natural collocation in this context. This is a lexical choice to improve clarity and tone; tense and structure are otherwise correct. Replacing 'issues' with 'concerns' makes the sentence read more naturally.