Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (uh) and repetition. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas and provide a brief personal example or feeling to make the answer more vivid.

예시: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a bright red bicycle that I used every weekend to cycle around my neighborhood, and I loved the freedom it gave me because I could visit friends and explore the park on my own.

제안: Begin with a clear opinion, then give two concise reasons with a linking word (however, although, because). Avoid repeating phrases (hot and humid weather twice). Provide a short example or comparison to illustrate the point.

예시: Yes, bikes are fairly popular because they are convenient for short trips and cheaper than cars. However, because the climate is very hot and humid for much of the year, many people prefer cars for comfort and protection from the heat.

× Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child, uh, and it was a really amazing for me to have a bike at that age because it was fascinating to ride on that on weekends.

✓ Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child, and it was really amazing for me to have a bike at that age because it was fascinating to ride it on weekends.

The sentence contains redundant filler 'uh' and an incorrect use of 'a really amazing' (article + adjective) where 'really amazing' suffices; also the phrase 'ride on that on weekends' is awkward and uses a demonstrative 'that' incorrectly. Suggestions: remove the filler, drop the extra article before 'really amazing', and replace 'ride on that' with 'ride it' or 'ride it on weekends' to make the past-tense narrative clear and natural.

× Uh, yes, bikes are popular in my country as they are one of the convenient source of travelling and covering small distance.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country, as they are one of the convenient means of travel for short distances.

The original uses 'one of the convenient source' which is wrong because 'one of the' requires a plural noun ('sources') and 'source of travelling' is awkward. Use 'means' or 'sources' and 'travel' instead of 'travelling', and 'short distances' rather than 'covering small distance'. Also remove filler 'Uh' for fluency.

× But because in my country it is a hot and humid weather, it has a hot and humid weather so that's why people here prefer cars more.

✓ But because my country has hot and humid weather, people here tend to prefer cars.

The sentence incorrectly uses impersonal 'it is a hot and humid weather' and then repeats 'it has a hot and humid weather'. 'Weather' is uncountable so omit the articles ('a') and use 'has' with 'my country has hot and humid weather' or 'it is hot and humid'. Also remove redundancy ('so that's why'). Simplify to 'people here tend to prefer cars' for natural expression.