Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (where, who, or a memorable moment). Use linking words if adding details. Keep it to no more than five sentences.

예시: Yes, I did. I had a red bicycle when I was about eight, and I often rode it to the park with my friends. For example, we used to race down the hill near my house, which was both fun and a bit scary.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and examples. Avoid hesitations and repetition; use linking words (because, for example, therefore). Use precise vocabulary (beneficial, exercise, commute) and keep sentences shorter and structured.

예시: Yes, they are quite popular. I think this is because cycling is an affordable form of exercise that improves cardio fitness and leg strength. For example, many young people cycle to university or work, especially in cities where traffic and parking are difficult.

× I had a bike when I was younger and I love to go out on a ride with my friends.

✓ I had a bike when I was younger and I loved to go out for rides with my friends.

The sentence mixes past tense 'had' with present tense 'love', creating a tense inconsistency. Because the context is about childhood (past), the verb describing habitual action in that period should be in the past tense: 'loved'. Also 'go out on a ride' is slightly awkward; 'go out for rides' is more natural for habitual past activity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent by using past tense for actions tied to childhood and use plural 'rides' for habitual occurrences.

× Yes, I think it's very popular in my country as it's really good for our physical health at as it is a physical activity which really improve our, uh, like leg strength and yeah, many youngsters go on bikes.

✓ Yes, I think it's very popular in my country because it's really good for people's physical health, as it is a physical activity that really improves leg strength, and many young people ride bikes.

There are several issues: 'our' is ambiguous and better replaced with 'people's' when speaking generally. The phrase 'at as' is incorrect and should be 'because' or 'as'. 'Which really improve' is incorrect subject-verb agreement and relative clause use; use 'that really improves' because the subject 'activity' is singular so verb must be 'improves'. 'Youngsters go on bikes' is unnatural; use 'young people ride bikes'. Overall, correct pronoun choice, fix conjunctions, and ensure subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: simplify and use clear relative pronoun 'that' and match verb to singular noun.