Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Réponse claire et pertinente mais améliorer la naturalité, la structure et la concision. Commencez par une phrase thématique simple, évitez les répétitions («I did have» puis «I had»), corrigez les erreurs grammaticales et l’ordre des mots (par ex. «not anymore good for me» → «no longer suitable for me»). Ajoutez un détail spécifique et utilisez un mot de liaison pour rendre la progression logique (par exemple: «so», «therefore»). Respectez la limite de 3–4 phrases maximum.

예시: Yes, I had two bikes when I was a child. I got my first bike at about ten and a newer, larger one at thirteen because I had grown and the old one was no longer suitable. I used them to ride to school and explore my neighborhood, so they were important for my independence.

제안: Le contenu est utile mais il y a des problèmes de clarté, de vocabulaire et de ton. Reformulez de façon plus neutre et précise: distinguez groupes d'âge et genres correctement, évitez les expressions familières («kinda», «seem bad») et corrigez la logique («we are too mature» est confus). Fournissez un exemple ou une raison claire et utilisez un lien logique (par ex. «however», «because»). Restreignez la réponse à 2–4 phrases.

예시: Bicycles are quite popular among children and teenagers in my country, especially for commuting to school or for leisure. However, among adults the popularity varies: many men still cycle regularly, while fewer women do so, often because of safety and social expectations.

× Yes, I did have around 2 bikes when I was young.

✓ Yes, I did have around two bikes when I was young.

Use words for small numbers in formal writing; not strictly a grammar error but number formatting improves clarity.

× I had one when I was around 10 and another one when I was 13 or 14 because I grew older and the bike was not anymore good for me.

✓ I had one when I was around ten and another when I was thirteen or fourteen because I grew older and the bike was no longer good for me.

Use past tense consistently: 'no longer' is the correct idiomatic phrase instead of 'not anymore'. Also omit redundant 'one' after 'another' and spell out small numbers for consistency.

× I think bikes are popular between guys and between girls when they are young, like between the kids and men.

✓ I think bikes are popular among boys and girls when they are young, and also among men to some extent.

Use 'among' for distribution within groups, not 'between' which is used for two items. 'Guys' is informal and 'kids' vs 'boys' should be consistent.

× OK but not with women because it's kinda seem bad for women to go outside and play.

✓ However, not so much with women because it seems inappropriate for women to go outside and play.

'kinda seem' is ungrammatical: 'kinda' is informal and cannot combine with 'seem' this way. Use 'seems' (third person singular) and choose a formal adverb or phrase like 'not so much' or 'less common'.

× We are too mature for that from the society point of view.

✓ From society's point of view, we are too mature for that.

Word order and possessive form: 'society point of view' should be 'society's point of view'. Placing the prepositional phrase at the start improves natural word order.