Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “No, I didn’t have a bike.”), then give one or two specific reasons with correct grammar and simple linking words. Avoid irrelevant phrases and unclear terms (e.g., “law of comments”). Use past tense when talking about childhood. Keep it under five sentences.

예시: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. My parents didn’t allow me to ride any vehicles because I was very young and they thought it was unsafe. Also, local regulations discouraged children from riding on busy roads, so I only learned to ride later as a teenager.

제안: Clarify the idea and use accurate vocabulary. Begin with a clear opinion (e.g., “Yes, bikes are popular.”), then give specific examples of types and reasons for popularity using linking words (e.g., “for example,” “because”). Avoid vague or incorrect words like “fights” or “short/long bikes” without explanation. Keep sentences coherent and under five sentences.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many people use city bikes for short trips and motorbikes for commuting because they are cheap and easy to park. In recent years, electric bikes have also become more common due to rising fuel costs and traffic congestion.

× No, then I will say I have no bike as my parents doesn't allow me to drive any kind of transportation because that time I was very little and according to the law of comments it is illegal to drive the transport those who are under 18.

✓ No. At that time I did not have a bike because my parents did not allow me to use any kind of transportation. I was very young, and according to the law it is illegal for people under 18 to drive vehicles.

Multiple article and word-choice errors: 'then' is inappropriate and was removed; 'I will say I have no bike' is awkward and tense-inconsistent, changed to past 'I did not have a bike' to match the time frame. 'any kind of transportation' is OK but 'allow me to drive' mismatches with parental permission and past tense, so changed to 'did not allow me to use'. 'the law of comments' is incorrect phrase; corrected to 'the law'. 'the transport those who are under 18' is ungrammatical and unclear; corrected to 'people under 18 to drive vehicles'. Suggestions: keep past tense for childhood descriptions, use articles where needed ('the law'), and choose precise nouns ('vehicles' or 'transportation') and correct subject-verb agreement ('parents did not allow').

× Even many people like some short bikes, but uh, some of them usually want some long bikes which is indifferent nowadays because they just want to get them and uh be.

✓ Many people like small motorcycles, but some usually prefer larger bikes nowadays because they just want to have them and look cool.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice issues: 'some of them usually want some long bikes which is indifferent' is ungrammatical. 'which is indifferent' is incorrect usage; changed to 'nowadays' placed properly. 'some short bikes' and 'some long bikes' are vague; replaced with 'small motorcycles' and 'larger bikes' for clarity. The verb forms were adjusted to agree with subjects ('some usually prefer'). The final fragment 'and uh be' is incomplete; replaced with 'and look cool' to complete the idea. Suggestions: use precise nouns, ensure verbs agree with subjects, avoid filler words like 'uh', and complete clauses with clear verbs.

× No, then I will say I have no bike as my parents doesn't allow me to drive any kind of transportation because that time I was very little and according to the law of comments it is illegal to drive the transport those who are under 18.

✓ No. At that time I did not have a bike because my parents did not allow me to use any kind of transportation; I was very young, and according to the law it was illegal for people under 18 to drive vehicles.

Tense inconsistency: speaker refers to childhood but uses future/present forms 'I will say' and 'I have no'. Changed to past tense 'I did not have' and 'my parents did not allow' to match the time frame. Also adjusted 'it is illegal' to 'it was illegal' because the statement refers to past circumstances. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense when describing past events.

× No, then I will say I have no bike as my parents doesn't allow me to drive any kind of transportation because that time I was very little and according to the law of comments it is illegal to drive the transport those who are under 18.

✓ No. At that time I did not have a bike because my parents did not allow me to use any kind of transportation; I was very young, and according to the law it was illegal for people under 18 to drive vehicles.

'parents doesn't allow' is incorrect because 'parents' is plural and requires 'do not' or 'did not' in past: 'parents did not allow'. Correct subject-verb agreement is necessary: plural subjects take plural verbs. Suggestion: match plural subjects with 'do/does' appropriately and use past form 'did' for past events.

× I was very little and according to the law of comments it is illegal to drive the transport those who are under 18.

✓ I was very young, and according to the law it was illegal for people under 18 to drive vehicles.

'According to the law of comments' is an incorrect prepositional phrase; likely intended 'according to the law'. 'Illegal to drive the transport those who are under 18' misuses prepositions and relative structure; corrected to 'illegal for people under 18 to drive vehicles'. Suggestion: use 'according to' + noun ('the law'), and use 'illegal for [people] to [verb]'.