Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and clear: start with a concise topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details that are relevant. Avoid unclear or incorrect phrases (e.g. “write about every day” and “boost my muscle”). Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) to connect ideas. Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I did. My parents gave me a bicycle for my tenth birthday, and I rode it almost every day to build strength and stay healthy. Because I practiced regularly, I became more confident riding on roads and could cycle longer distances.

제안: Answer directly with a clear opinion, then support it with specific, logical reasons. Fix unclear phrases (for example, “owned at least one park in the house” is incorrect). Use simple linking words like “because”, “for example” and keep sentences concise. Give a concrete example or statistic if possible.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are affordable and practical for short trips. For example, many people cycle to work or the market every day to avoid traffic and save money on transport.

× My parents gave me a bike as a gift on my birthday and they wanted me to write about every day in order to boost my muscle as well as improve my overall well-being.

✓ My parents gave me a bike as a gift on my birthday, and they wanted me to ride it every day in order to build my muscles and improve my overall well-being.

The original sentence misused 'write' instead of 'ride' which is a lexical error but also affected tense coherence; 'wanted me to write about every day' is incorrect in meaning. 'Boost my muscle' is ungrammatical: 'muscles' (plural) is required and the verb 'build' or 'strengthen' suits the intended meaning. Use of past tense 'gave' and 'wanted' is correct, so keep past tense but correct the verb forms and plural noun. Suggestion: replace 'write' with 'ride', use plural 'muscles', and use 'build' or 'strengthen' for natural phrasing.

× Yeah, I think this happens because everyone in my neighborhood already owned at least one park in the house.

✓ Yeah, I think this happens because everyone in my neighborhood already owned at least one bicycle in the house.

The phrase 'one park in the house' is incorrect and illogical; 'park' is a countable noun meaning a public area and doesn't fit 'in the house'. The speaker likely meant 'bike' or 'bicycle'. Also 'at least one bicycle' is correct singular+quantifier usage. Keep past tense 'owned'. Suggestion: use 'bicycle' or 'bike' instead of 'park'.

× And I think that people in my country tend to like a bike in order to like improve their overall well-being and such as are are going to work.

✓ And I think that people in my country tend to like bikes in order to improve their overall well-being and to commute to work.

Several issues: 'like a bike' with 'tend to' is awkward; plural 'bikes' fits general statements. 'In order to like improve' has an unnecessary 'like' and incorrect placement. 'Such as are are going to work' is ungrammatical; the intended meaning is 'to go to work' or 'to commute to work'. Fix article/number by using plural 'bikes', remove extra 'like', use 'to improve', and replace the phrase with 'to commute to work' for clarity. Suggestion: use plural for generalization, remove filler words, and use clear infinitive phrases.