Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, um) and unnecessary hesitations, and correct small factual phrasing (use past tense consistently and precise description). Also keep under five sentences and add one specific detail to enrich the answer. Use linking where needed (for example, “It was... and”).

예시: I did. My father gave me a small red bike for my eighth birthday. It was a three-wheeler designed for beginners, with a low frame and a comfortable seat, so I felt safe while learning. I rode it every afternoon around our neighborhood until I learned to balance on two wheels.

제안: Focus on clear structure and accurate vocabulary: begin with a direct statement, then support with two specific reasons using linking words (for example, “because” and “for example”). Reduce disfluencies and grammar errors (e.g., “most people use bicycles to go to work or visit relatives”); keep sentences shorter and more precise.

예시: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient. For example, many people cycle to work or to visit relatives, especially in crowded cities where traffic is heavy. Also, people often ride bikes for exercise and to relax after lunch.

× I used to have a bike that was gifted by, uh, my father for my birthday.

✓ I used to have a bike that was given to me by my father for my birthday.

The student used 'gifted by' which is grammatically possible but less natural here; 'given to me by' is clearer and uses the past participle 'given' correctly with the passive meaning. Suggestion: use 'given to me by' or 'that my father gave me' for natural phrasing.

× Umm, it was uh, I think red and uh, it has four wheels.

✓ Umm, it was, I think, red, and it had four wheels.

The sentence mixes past ('was') and present ('has'). Because the speaker talks about a past bike, the verb should be past tense: 'had' rather than 'has'. This is a subject-verb agreement / tense consistency issue. Suggestion: keep tense consistent; use past tense when describing past possessions.

× In our country back bikes are so pop, uh, popular, uh, means of transport cause, uh, most of the people use uh, bicycle in order to go their work or to go their relatives home and in order to just relax while after the lunchtime.

✓ In our country, bicycles are a very popular means of transport because most people use them to go to work or to visit relatives, and to relax after lunch.

This sentence has multiple structure problems: incorrect word order ('back'), informal fragments ('so pop'), missing articles, wrong prepositions ('go their work', 'go their relatives home'), and awkward phrasing ('while after the lunchtime'). Corrections made: 'bicycles' (plural, correct noun), 'are a very popular means of transport' (natural collocation), 'because' for causal link, 'most people' (no 'the'), 'use them to go to work or to visit relatives' (correct prepositions and verbs), 'and to relax after lunch' (concise, correct adverbial phrase). Suggestion: simplify long sentences, use correct prepositions ('to work', 'visit relatives'), and maintain consistent plurality and article use.