Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid hesitations and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce filler words (umm) and repeated phrases ("It was").

예시: Yes, I did. I had a small red bicycle with training wheels that my parents gave me for my 12th birthday. Because my father taught me how to balance and pedal, I quickly learned to ride confidently within a few weeks.

제안: Provide a clearer topic sentence and support it with specific reasons or examples, linked logically. Avoid vague phrases and improve sentence flow by using linking words like "because", "for example", or "also" appropriately.

예시: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people use them for daily commuting, especially in crowded cities. For example, students often learn to ride early and many neighborhoods have bike lanes, so cycling is both practical and encouraged.

× It was.

✓ It was a small red bicycle with training wheels.

The fragment 'It was.' is a sentence structure error because it is incomplete and leaves out the noun or phrase that explains what 'it' refers to. Combine this fragment with the following sentence to form a complete, coherent sentence. Suggestion: remove the lone 'It was.' or merge it with the next sentence to provide the noun phrase ('a small red bicycle with training wheels').

× It was a small red bike bicycle with training wheels that my parents bought for my, umm, 12th birthday.

✓ It was a small red bicycle with training wheels that my parents bought for my 12th birthday.

The original uses both 'bike' and 'bicycle', which is redundant. Also the filler 'umm,' is unnecessary in written form. Use either 'bike' or 'bicycle' (prefer 'bicycle' in formal speech) and remove the filler. Ensure no comma between 'my' and '12th birthday'.

× And I also learned how to ride it because my father taught me how to ride it.

✓ I also learned to ride it because my father taught me.

The sentence repeats 'how to ride it' which is redundant. Replace 'learned how to ride it' with 'learned to ride it' and omit the repeated clause in the second part. This produces a concise sentence and avoids pronoun repetition.

× Yes, bicycles are popular in our country because this is also one of the means of transportation here and also even as a child we are trained to ride the bike.

✓ Yes, bicycles are popular in our country because they are a common means of transportation, and children are often taught to ride them.

Problems: awkward phrase 'one of the means of transportation here' and incorrect pronoun/number agreement in 'we are trained to ride the bike.' Use plural pronouns to match 'bicycles' ('they', 'them') and change 'as a child we are trained' to the general present 'children are often taught' for naturalness. Remove redundant words 'also' and 'even' and simplify the structure.