Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct basic grammar and phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Remove fillers (umm) and correct mistakes such as “bought it to me” → “bought it for me,” and “tripod bicycle” → “a bike with training wheels.” Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I did. My dad bought me a bike with training wheels when I was about four, which helped me learn to balance. I remember practicing in our backyard every weekend until I could ride on my own.

제안: Begin with a clear opinion and give specific, connected reasons using correct vocabulary. Correct major errors (e.g., “vice” → “bikes,” “to traveling allow” → “for traveling around,” “list to the department store” → “go to a department store,” “lollies” unclear—likely “lorries” or “trucks”). Use linking words such as “because” or “however” to connect ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid vague or incorrect words.

예시: I don’t think bikes are very popular in Thailand for everyday travel because roads can be crowded and dangerous. For example, cycling to a department store is risky due to large buses and lorries, so most people prefer cars or public transport.

× Yes I did. I got one when I was really young, my dad bought it to me and it it was a tripod bicycle that could really help me to umm, balance along riding it when I was a kid. So umm.

✓ Yes, I did. I got one when I was really young; my dad bought it for me, and it was a tricycle that really helped me balance while riding it when I was a kid.

Multiple problems: incorrect preposition 'bought it to me' should be 'bought it for me' (preposition error, ID 11), repetition 'it it' is a typo, 'tripod bicycle' is incorrect vocabulary — correct term is 'tricycle' (word choice but treated as adjective error, ID 13), tense consistency requires past tense 'helped' not 'could really help' because the action is in the past (past tense issue, ID 5), and 'balance along riding it' is incorrect phrase; use 'balance while riding it' (sentence structure/preposition). Suggestion: use past tense verbs consistently for past events, use correct prepositions ('for' after 'buy' when indicating recipient), and prefer natural collocations like 'tricycle' and 'balance while riding'.

× I could say that in Thailand vice is not the best option for you to traveling allow.

✓ I would say that in Thailand, bicycles are not the best option for you for traveling around.

Several issues: 'I could say' is less natural than 'I would say' for opinion (modal nuance, ID 4) but primary grammatical problem is pronoun and word errors: 'vice' is a misspelling of 'bike' or 'bicycle' (word choice/adjective error, ID 13), 'for you to traveling allow' is ungrammatical: 'for you to travel around' or 'for you for traveling around'. The correction uses 'bicycles' (plural) to agree with 'are' (singular/plural issue, ID 1) and the proper infinitive 'to travel' or noun 'for traveling'. Suggestion: use correct nouns and standard phrases like 'not the best option for traveling around' or 'not a good option for you to travel around'.

× For example, if you want to list to the department store, it's too dangerous for you to using it because there are many huge bus and lollies there.

✓ For example, if you want to go to the department store, it's too dangerous for you to use a bicycle because there are many large buses and lorries there.

Errors: 'list to the department store' should be 'go to the department store' (wrong verb, sentence structure, ID 26), 'to using it' is incorrect verb form after 'too dangerous for you to' which requires base verb 'use' (verb + -ing/form error, ID 8), 'many huge bus and lollies' has number and word errors: should be 'many large buses and lorries' (singular/plural and word choice, IDs 1 and 13). Suggestion: use 'go to' for movement, maintain infinitive form after 'too dangerous for you to', and pluralize countable nouns and use correct spellings ('lorry').

× So it's not.

✓ So it's not a good idea.

This fragment is incomplete and vague; 'So it's not' lacks an object or complement making the sentence unclear (sentence structure error, ID 26). Suggestion: complete the thought with a clear complement such as 'a good idea' or 'recommended' to make the sentence grammatical and meaningful.