Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, use correct tense and clearer sequence, avoid filler words. Start with a direct topic sentence (simple past), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense errors (use 'I remember' or 'I remembered' consistently) and avoid ambiguous phrases like 'became a bicycle'—say 'took off the training wheels'.

예시: I had a blue bicycle when I was a child. At first it had three wheels, but when I learned to ride I took off the training wheels and began riding it on my own. I remember practicing every weekend in the park with my family.

제안: Provide a clear direct answer first (e.g., 'Yes and no' or 'It depends'), then give specific reasons and use linking words (for example, 'for children... whereas for adults...'). Reduce hesitation and repetition, and include a brief example or statistic if possible.

예시: It depends. For children, bikes are very popular because they use them for play and short rides with friends, especially in suburban areas. However, among adults bike use is less common due to long commutes and limited cycling infrastructure, so many prefer cars or public transport.

× I remembered it being a blue bicycle, umm, starting off with three wheels.

✓ I remember it being a blue bicycle, starting off with three wheels.

The student used 'remembered' (past tense) while describing a lasting memory related to childhood; using simple present 'remember' is more natural when stating a memory in a conversational context. Suggestion: use 'I remember' to report a memory being recalled now.

× And as soon as I started to know how to bike, how to ride a bike, I took off the two wheels and became a bicycle.

✓ As soon as I learned how to ride a bike, I took off the two training wheels and rode it as a regular bicycle.

The phrase 'started to know how to bike' is ungrammatical; use 'learned how to ride a bike' or 'learned to ride.' Also 'took off the two wheels and became a bicycle' incorrectly makes the speaker the bicycle; correct to 'took off the two training wheels and rode it as a regular bicycle.' Suggestion: use 'learned' for acquiring a skill and avoid making the subject become the object.

× And I right now.

✓ And I have one right now.

The fragment 'And I right now' lacks a verb and is incomplete. To indicate current possession, use 'I have one right now.' Suggestion: include a verb ('have') and the object ('one' or 'a bike') to complete the sentence.

× It depends on the group of people you're referring to. And As for kids or toddlers, I find it, I think that it's very popular and children use it all the time to just like bike around, play around with their friends.

✓ It depends on the group of people you're referring to. As for kids or toddlers, I think it's very popular: children use bikes all the time to ride around and play with their friends.

Starting a sentence with 'And As' is redundant and inconsistent capitalization is incorrect. The phrase 'I find it, I think that it's' is redundant; combine as 'I think.' 'Just like bike around' is informal and ungrammatical; use 'ride around.' Suggestion: remove unnecessary conjunctions, fix capitalization, and use clearer verbs ('ride') and concise phrasing.

× But for adults, I don't think so, I don't think.

✓ But for adults, I don't think so.

The repetition 'I don't think so, I don't think' is redundant and unnecessary. The present tense 'don't think' is correct to express a general opinion about adults' bike usage; simply state it once. Suggestion: remove repeated clause for concision and clarity.